It's been a few months since I last wrote. What else is new, right? I think some things will never change. ;o)
Well, since I last wrote, I feel like so much has changed. I used to write you from the warmth of southern Utah, but one month ago today, we left Utah for North Dakota. NORTH DAKOTA!?!?!?! You might ask with a stunned high screech to your voice? Yes...you heard me right. North Dakota.
I know Josh Duhamel, the actor and of course husband to Black Eyed Peas singer Fergie, is from here, but other than that, and I apologize to anyone who may have grown-up or lived or still lives in North Dakota for what I'm about to say, but I truly never really thought of North Dakota.
I knew it was part of the United States of America. I knew it was above South Dakota. But honestly, having driven through the dreaded long roads of Nebraska and Wyoming, more times than I care to admit, I just never thought to think above those state lines. It never in my wildest dreams occurred to me that I could actually live here. And to top it off, we aren't that far from Canada! I hate cold weather! But here we are. The scary thing about it all, is that I'm actually growing to like it here! Quick! Someone take my temperature! I swear I'm getting sick! Sick in the head, right? ;o)
So, why are we here? My dear husband was able to get a really great job here. It was not planned, nor even thought about. He saw an ad for a job online one day and after some heavy duty praying, POOF! Six weeks later we moved and have been here about a month.
Don't even get me started on the actual move. That's a whole other story that I won't get into. Let's just say, from all the moves I've ever made, and I've made A LOT, this was one of the most adventurous and stressful moves I think I have ever experienced. I guess that's one thing about our family...we always have some interesting adventures in our lives! ;o)
I titled this entry "Winds of Change". That phrase has been on my mind forever. Sometimes there is a calm breeze that feels so relaxing, especially in the hot sun. Then there can be a cooler breeze that blows around the fallen leaves. Sometimes the wind gusts can get pretty high and you can barely hang on to your umbrella or your coat. Then of course there are hurricane force winds or tornadoes that rip through everything in its paths and nothing is ever the same again. You can rebuild, but nothing will ever be the way it once was.
To me, that is life. I've had my fair share of joys and trials throughout my life. As well as many changes and this move is no exception. In a way, this move was kind of like the calm before the storm. Everything was going well. Not perfect, but we were living our lives as usual. The week before we found out about John's job, we had just talked about how we weren't moving and how good it felt and then out of the blue, everything changed. And with that change came an array of emotions.
Excitement because we knew it was right. We knew we were being blessed with a good job. Sadness because we were leaving many friends and the comfort zone we created. Apprehension because of the unknown. As well as many other emotions. Not to mention the emotions we experienced once we got here. John had already been here over a month before the rest of us came, so he was familiar with everything, but the kids and I weren't. We worked through all that and although we are still adjusting, I'm happy to report that all is well.
Winds of change, you just never know when they will come. Whether it's a new job and a new location; a death in the family or a new baby born; a marriage or even just growing up...over time, you learn to expect the unexpected. Plans change. People change. Life happens. Some changes can be good. Some bad. Some sad. You never know.
I just know from my experience, that how you react to change can greatly affect your life. In some situations, certain emotions are completely understandable and expected, but my hope is that our overall reactions to things will be good. That our hearts can be lightened and the beauty of our surroundings evident. That we'll be able to see things through clearer eyes. That whatever winds of change are hoped for, that the possibilities might be endless.
Love Always,
Cheryl
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
It's May!!
Where has the time gone? Really?
So, there's definitely a lot going on in my household right now. Just to fill you in, my Grandmother recently passed away. She's my Dad's mom. Ironically, she passed away on the 1 yr anniversary of my Dad's death. I knew her time on this earth was coming to a close, but I have to say, my sister and I were sure hoping she wouldn't pick that day to return to her Heavenly Home. Given the circumstances of my Dad's passing, we knew it would make that day particularly hard.
Although I was hoping March 22nd wouldn't be the day, deep down inside I knew it would be. I was prepared spiritually. What's interesting is that I was a nervous wreck all the days leading up to March 22nd, but on that day, I was kept busy and didn't dwell too much on the sadness of that day and although I felt a little anxious, once I got the call from my Uncle informing my that my Grandmother did indeed pass away, I became extremely calm and peaceful. I miss her terribly, but instead of mourning a life cut short, I celebrate the full life she lived.
In April, my husband celebrated his 40th birthday and we had a fun surprise party for him. Also my little man, Josh, turned 5. I don't want him to grow up, but he just won't listen to me! ;o) And now that we are in May, my daughter Cassie and her husband, celebrated their 1 yr anniversary yesterday. Hard to believe it's gone by that quick. Alicia is graduating high school and will soon be turning 18. Some time in the next 6-8 months, she's planning on going off to college. Not sure how I feel about that. She was out to a church activity last night with friends and the rest of us were home eating and we realized that this is what it will be like when she's away at school or when she's off and married, whenever that comes. I have to say, it was weeeirrrddd!! LOL But we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.
I just wanted to say hello to everyone out there in the blog-o-sphere and to let you know I haven't forgotten about you! I can feel my creative juices flowing again and I'm EXCITED about it. Hopefully in the near future, I'll have something new to share! About time right!? ;o)
I hope May will be a beautiful month for all! Summer is just around the corner...officially, that is. In some places it already feels like Summer. That sounds good to me! =o)
Love,
Cheryl
So, there's definitely a lot going on in my household right now. Just to fill you in, my Grandmother recently passed away. She's my Dad's mom. Ironically, she passed away on the 1 yr anniversary of my Dad's death. I knew her time on this earth was coming to a close, but I have to say, my sister and I were sure hoping she wouldn't pick that day to return to her Heavenly Home. Given the circumstances of my Dad's passing, we knew it would make that day particularly hard.
Although I was hoping March 22nd wouldn't be the day, deep down inside I knew it would be. I was prepared spiritually. What's interesting is that I was a nervous wreck all the days leading up to March 22nd, but on that day, I was kept busy and didn't dwell too much on the sadness of that day and although I felt a little anxious, once I got the call from my Uncle informing my that my Grandmother did indeed pass away, I became extremely calm and peaceful. I miss her terribly, but instead of mourning a life cut short, I celebrate the full life she lived.
In April, my husband celebrated his 40th birthday and we had a fun surprise party for him. Also my little man, Josh, turned 5. I don't want him to grow up, but he just won't listen to me! ;o) And now that we are in May, my daughter Cassie and her husband, celebrated their 1 yr anniversary yesterday. Hard to believe it's gone by that quick. Alicia is graduating high school and will soon be turning 18. Some time in the next 6-8 months, she's planning on going off to college. Not sure how I feel about that. She was out to a church activity last night with friends and the rest of us were home eating and we realized that this is what it will be like when she's away at school or when she's off and married, whenever that comes. I have to say, it was weeeirrrddd!! LOL But we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.
I just wanted to say hello to everyone out there in the blog-o-sphere and to let you know I haven't forgotten about you! I can feel my creative juices flowing again and I'm EXCITED about it. Hopefully in the near future, I'll have something new to share! About time right!? ;o)
I hope May will be a beautiful month for all! Summer is just around the corner...officially, that is. In some places it already feels like Summer. That sounds good to me! =o)
Love,
Cheryl
Monday, February 14, 2011
Happy Valentine's Day!
I hope LOVE was in the air for everyone today since it is Valentine's Day. =o)
Whether or not you were the recipient of a bouquet of flowers, a box of chocolates, or fine dining, I hope you felt loved one way or another. Now our family, we didn't give Valentines out to each other this year, but we did have a very lovely home-cooked meal. We all ate together around the dinner table and enjoyed good conversation and laughter. Then we all had heart shaped cupcakes for dessert that we made earlier in the day. It was all very delicious. I admit, John did come home and surprise me with 2 of my favorite candy bars and my favorite soda. Perhaps not very romantic to some, but I appreciated it. ;o)
I know I didn't post anything for New Year's, but I hope everyone had a great time ringing in the new year. I know we did. My daughter and son-in-law stayed with us for about a week and were able to celebrate with us. It was a good time.
I was having a little trouble with my New Year's resolutions. In the end, I decided to just keep it simple. I was also in a very reflective mood. 2010 was a difficult year for me on many different levels. I had to work through some emotions and put things in its proper perspective.
This last little while I have to say, I've felt very restless. I'm not 100% sure why. Have you ever felt lost in a crowded room? Almost invisible? That's how I've been feeling. I've had to put so many things on the back burner to take care of other things, that I think I've lost my way a bit.
My health was at its worse in December. It controlled everything and in a way, I suppose it still does. I have loved ones I care about going through difficult trials and I've been trying to be there for them. Also taking care of my family's needs. I can tell I've withdrawn inward, if that makes any sense. Like I've told friends at church one Sunday, I've felt like my insecurities were blaring in front of me on a jumbotron. I've just felt so unsure of myself and my talents and my purpose. Why? What on earth is causing all of this?
As I've been trying to work through these things. I think I've realized that as I've been so busy dealing with all these other things, I've lost a part of myself. Or rather forgotten who I really am. Now it's time to recreate myself. Really become who I want to be.
I can't help but feel that this restlessness that I've been feeling is an inward knowledge of change. I just have this feeling that change is in the air. I don't mean moving or anything like that. But I think it's perhaps more of
a change in myself. I need to be ready for it. Can I do it? I suppose it will come whether I'm ready or not. ;o)But hopefully it's more like there is Someone who knows I'm ready and it's His spirit that I feel preparing me for that change. I would like to think so. =o)
As this Valentine's day comes to a close...it's already tomorrow on the East coast...know that love doesn't have to be between you and a significant other. It can be the joy in your heart because today was a beautiful day. Someone made you smile. You found $5.00 in a jacket pocket you forgot about from 4 months ago. You got an A on a test. Anything! It doesn't matter.
What I'm trying to say is no matter whether you are alone in a crowded room or life just seems to be going your way and nothing can stop you from your dreams, you are beautiful, special and most of all loved...by your family, friends, pet, or even me and most of all by Someone greater than us all.
Happy Valentine's Day everyone!
Love, Cheryl
Whether or not you were the recipient of a bouquet of flowers, a box of chocolates, or fine dining, I hope you felt loved one way or another. Now our family, we didn't give Valentines out to each other this year, but we did have a very lovely home-cooked meal. We all ate together around the dinner table and enjoyed good conversation and laughter. Then we all had heart shaped cupcakes for dessert that we made earlier in the day. It was all very delicious. I admit, John did come home and surprise me with 2 of my favorite candy bars and my favorite soda. Perhaps not very romantic to some, but I appreciated it. ;o)
I know I didn't post anything for New Year's, but I hope everyone had a great time ringing in the new year. I know we did. My daughter and son-in-law stayed with us for about a week and were able to celebrate with us. It was a good time.
I was having a little trouble with my New Year's resolutions. In the end, I decided to just keep it simple. I was also in a very reflective mood. 2010 was a difficult year for me on many different levels. I had to work through some emotions and put things in its proper perspective.
This last little while I have to say, I've felt very restless. I'm not 100% sure why. Have you ever felt lost in a crowded room? Almost invisible? That's how I've been feeling. I've had to put so many things on the back burner to take care of other things, that I think I've lost my way a bit.
My health was at its worse in December. It controlled everything and in a way, I suppose it still does. I have loved ones I care about going through difficult trials and I've been trying to be there for them. Also taking care of my family's needs. I can tell I've withdrawn inward, if that makes any sense. Like I've told friends at church one Sunday, I've felt like my insecurities were blaring in front of me on a jumbotron. I've just felt so unsure of myself and my talents and my purpose. Why? What on earth is causing all of this?
As I've been trying to work through these things. I think I've realized that as I've been so busy dealing with all these other things, I've lost a part of myself. Or rather forgotten who I really am. Now it's time to recreate myself. Really become who I want to be.
I can't help but feel that this restlessness that I've been feeling is an inward knowledge of change. I just have this feeling that change is in the air. I don't mean moving or anything like that. But I think it's perhaps more of
a change in myself. I need to be ready for it. Can I do it? I suppose it will come whether I'm ready or not. ;o)But hopefully it's more like there is Someone who knows I'm ready and it's His spirit that I feel preparing me for that change. I would like to think so. =o)
As this Valentine's day comes to a close...it's already tomorrow on the East coast...know that love doesn't have to be between you and a significant other. It can be the joy in your heart because today was a beautiful day. Someone made you smile. You found $5.00 in a jacket pocket you forgot about from 4 months ago. You got an A on a test. Anything! It doesn't matter.
What I'm trying to say is no matter whether you are alone in a crowded room or life just seems to be going your way and nothing can stop you from your dreams, you are beautiful, special and most of all loved...by your family, friends, pet, or even me and most of all by Someone greater than us all.
Happy Valentine's Day everyone!
Love, Cheryl
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire...
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,
Jack Frost nipping on your nose,
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir,
And folks dressed up like Eskimos.
Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe,
Help to make the season bright.
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow,
Will find it hard to sleep tonight.
They know that Santa's on his way;
He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh.
And every mother's child is going to spy,
To see if reindeer really know how to fly.
And so I'm offering this simple phrase,
To kids from one to ninety-two,
Although its been said many times, many ways,
A very Merry Christmas to you
I couldn't help but post those lyrics on here. Who doesn't know this classic sung by the great Nat King Cole? =o)
Happy December everyone and Merry Christmas!!
I know it's been some time since I last wrote and I must apologize for that. I've been on a bit of a roller coaster ride this last little while.
As we near the end of 2010, I've been reflecting a great deal on the events in my life of the past 12 months, as I'm sure many of us do time and time again. I have to say, it's definitely been one crazy year! ;o) I'm quite certain, we all say the same thing every time! LOL
I have to confess, my world has been rocked to its very core. As hard as I've tried to be strong, I admit, I've had my weak moments. 11 days from now, marks the one year anniversary of my Father-in-law's passing. With my own Dad passing earlier this year, there were a lot of "first's" without him that he would normally be a part of. I did pretty well until we got to his birthday in October and then Thanksgiving. He was with us just last year, so a lot of memories came rushing back. The bottom line is that I really just miss them both...a lot.
Okay, enough of my blubbering!! ;o) Onto merrier things!! Like Christmas and the New Year!!
I believe every child within us is anxiously awaiting Santa Claus' arrival to see what goodies he will bring us. What a beautiful spirit he brings with him...the spirit of GIVING. Isn't such a wonderful feeling when we think of others and do special things for them, no matter how large or small? It always gives me great joy when I can be there for someone. Especially when I can drop a plate of cookies or treats to them.
Depending on how you look at it, I suppose this time of year can bring out the worst in us too. It all depends on what you are focused on. But I hope it will bring out the best in everyone.
I know when we think of Christmas we think of Santa and his reindeer. Of Christmas trees and snowmen. Of presents under the tree and stockings filled with treats. But I hope most of all, that we will remember the true meaning of Christmas. Why we celebrate this holiday in the first place...the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Luke 2: 4-14
"And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judæa, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)
"To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.
"And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.
"And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.
"And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
"And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
"And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
"For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
"And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
"And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men."
How grateful I am to Him for His willingness to come to this earth and sacrifice all for my sake, as well as the whole world. Such humble beginnings for a Heavenly King.
May your hearts be filled with love and gratitude, warmth and laughter this Christmas season.
Merry Christmas everyone!! May Santa bring all the toys and goodies you've been wishing for! ;o)
Love, Cheryl
Jack Frost nipping on your nose,
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir,
And folks dressed up like Eskimos.
Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe,
Help to make the season bright.
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow,
Will find it hard to sleep tonight.
They know that Santa's on his way;
He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh.
And every mother's child is going to spy,
To see if reindeer really know how to fly.
And so I'm offering this simple phrase,
To kids from one to ninety-two,
Although its been said many times, many ways,
A very Merry Christmas to you
I couldn't help but post those lyrics on here. Who doesn't know this classic sung by the great Nat King Cole? =o)
Happy December everyone and Merry Christmas!!
I know it's been some time since I last wrote and I must apologize for that. I've been on a bit of a roller coaster ride this last little while.
As we near the end of 2010, I've been reflecting a great deal on the events in my life of the past 12 months, as I'm sure many of us do time and time again. I have to say, it's definitely been one crazy year! ;o) I'm quite certain, we all say the same thing every time! LOL
I have to confess, my world has been rocked to its very core. As hard as I've tried to be strong, I admit, I've had my weak moments. 11 days from now, marks the one year anniversary of my Father-in-law's passing. With my own Dad passing earlier this year, there were a lot of "first's" without him that he would normally be a part of. I did pretty well until we got to his birthday in October and then Thanksgiving. He was with us just last year, so a lot of memories came rushing back. The bottom line is that I really just miss them both...a lot.
Okay, enough of my blubbering!! ;o) Onto merrier things!! Like Christmas and the New Year!!
I believe every child within us is anxiously awaiting Santa Claus' arrival to see what goodies he will bring us. What a beautiful spirit he brings with him...the spirit of GIVING. Isn't such a wonderful feeling when we think of others and do special things for them, no matter how large or small? It always gives me great joy when I can be there for someone. Especially when I can drop a plate of cookies or treats to them.
Depending on how you look at it, I suppose this time of year can bring out the worst in us too. It all depends on what you are focused on. But I hope it will bring out the best in everyone.
I know when we think of Christmas we think of Santa and his reindeer. Of Christmas trees and snowmen. Of presents under the tree and stockings filled with treats. But I hope most of all, that we will remember the true meaning of Christmas. Why we celebrate this holiday in the first place...the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Luke 2: 4-14
"And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judæa, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)
"To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.
"And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.
"And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.
"And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
"And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
"And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
"For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
"And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
"And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men."
How grateful I am to Him for His willingness to come to this earth and sacrifice all for my sake, as well as the whole world. Such humble beginnings for a Heavenly King.
May your hearts be filled with love and gratitude, warmth and laughter this Christmas season.
Merry Christmas everyone!! May Santa bring all the toys and goodies you've been wishing for! ;o)
Love, Cheryl
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Happy September!!
I've really let time go by before writing again! It seems like there's just been so much going on.
Here we are in September. Fall is just around the corner! Typically with Fall comes cooler weather, warm apple pie, bonfires with roasted marshmallows and breaking out the hot cocoa. But here in southern Utah, it means the public pool closes soon, as well as Snokaps...only the best shaved ice treat EVER!! ;o) The temps do cool down a little, but it will still feel like summer for a while.
We're going camping with our ward at church in a couple of weeks so I'm sure there will be s'mores around the campfire. I'm definitely looking forward to warm apple pie and my favorite hot cocoa is mint chocolate. YUM!
All of my girls are back in school. Josh started preschool last week! So for 2 days a week, I have the house ALL to myself! ((contented sigh)) ;o)
Life is going good. It took me a little while to adjust to the new school schedule. But we seem to be back on track! I still have my ups and downs healthwise, but that's ok. I've been getting ready to let my creative mind loose. So beware! ;o) Every time I think I'm ready, there's been some type of obtacle in the way. Hopefully those are starting to clear up! =o)
There is a part of me that isn't ready for time to keep flying by. My little guy is growing up and in preschool now. He loves it! He thinks his teacher is pretty. He told me that yesterday. Isn't that cute! ;o) My oldest daughter turns 20 next month! Can it be two decades since she was born already?? I have 2 in high school. One a senior the other a freshman. I have an 8th grader and my youngest daughter just turned 12! That's big in our house because now she's out of Primary and in Young Womens at church! When did they all get so big??
There's been lots of babies born to friends from church. I have one friend in particular who lets me hold her baby all the time. I love it! I just say I'm practicing for my Grandma role. LOL Can I just say it's so scary to even say that??!! I FEEL too young to even be saying that! But you know, it could happen. My oldest is a married woman now. LOL
As I think of all these things, truly, life is just flying by. It's moments like these when you just wish you could freeze time for a while. But you can't. The leaves will still fall to the ground. The seasons will change. But inevitably spring will return and new life will abound. Just as new flowers will bloom, new friendships will be formed and new love found. Life experiences will allow us growth and through them our perspectives may change. It's all there for us to learn and grow from. Such is the cycle of life. There is a time and a season for everything in our lives.
Just as the Summer is fading away, making way for Fall, may we be ready and willing to accept the changing seasons that occur within us all. That's what I am working on now.
Before I go, I would like to share a link with you. http://www.refresheverything.com/matteasjoy
Please check out the link and vote for my friend's cause!! Here is a little bit about Mattea's Joy.
"About Mattea's Joy - Our daughter, Mattea, passed away in January, 2010 after 9 wonderful months with us. We spent 7 months at the University of Chicago Comer Children's Hospital with her in the ICU. We have started our foundation, Mattea's Joy, to support parents in the ICU because we know the shoes they walk in."
Mattea's parents, Gary and Jamie are dear friends of ours and I would love it if you could help me help them by voting for their cause so they can win a grant that would help fund the needs for their cause.
Sending my love to all who read my blog! Happy September!!
Love, Cheryl
Here we are in September. Fall is just around the corner! Typically with Fall comes cooler weather, warm apple pie, bonfires with roasted marshmallows and breaking out the hot cocoa. But here in southern Utah, it means the public pool closes soon, as well as Snokaps...only the best shaved ice treat EVER!! ;o) The temps do cool down a little, but it will still feel like summer for a while.
We're going camping with our ward at church in a couple of weeks so I'm sure there will be s'mores around the campfire. I'm definitely looking forward to warm apple pie and my favorite hot cocoa is mint chocolate. YUM!
All of my girls are back in school. Josh started preschool last week! So for 2 days a week, I have the house ALL to myself! ((contented sigh)) ;o)
Life is going good. It took me a little while to adjust to the new school schedule. But we seem to be back on track! I still have my ups and downs healthwise, but that's ok. I've been getting ready to let my creative mind loose. So beware! ;o) Every time I think I'm ready, there's been some type of obtacle in the way. Hopefully those are starting to clear up! =o)
There is a part of me that isn't ready for time to keep flying by. My little guy is growing up and in preschool now. He loves it! He thinks his teacher is pretty. He told me that yesterday. Isn't that cute! ;o) My oldest daughter turns 20 next month! Can it be two decades since she was born already?? I have 2 in high school. One a senior the other a freshman. I have an 8th grader and my youngest daughter just turned 12! That's big in our house because now she's out of Primary and in Young Womens at church! When did they all get so big??
There's been lots of babies born to friends from church. I have one friend in particular who lets me hold her baby all the time. I love it! I just say I'm practicing for my Grandma role. LOL Can I just say it's so scary to even say that??!! I FEEL too young to even be saying that! But you know, it could happen. My oldest is a married woman now. LOL
As I think of all these things, truly, life is just flying by. It's moments like these when you just wish you could freeze time for a while. But you can't. The leaves will still fall to the ground. The seasons will change. But inevitably spring will return and new life will abound. Just as new flowers will bloom, new friendships will be formed and new love found. Life experiences will allow us growth and through them our perspectives may change. It's all there for us to learn and grow from. Such is the cycle of life. There is a time and a season for everything in our lives.
Just as the Summer is fading away, making way for Fall, may we be ready and willing to accept the changing seasons that occur within us all. That's what I am working on now.
Before I go, I would like to share a link with you. http://www.refresheverything.com/matteasjoy
Please check out the link and vote for my friend's cause!! Here is a little bit about Mattea's Joy.
"About Mattea's Joy - Our daughter, Mattea, passed away in January, 2010 after 9 wonderful months with us. We spent 7 months at the University of Chicago Comer Children's Hospital with her in the ICU. We have started our foundation, Mattea's Joy, to support parents in the ICU because we know the shoes they walk in."
Mattea's parents, Gary and Jamie are dear friends of ours and I would love it if you could help me help them by voting for their cause so they can win a grant that would help fund the needs for their cause.
Sending my love to all who read my blog! Happy September!!
Love, Cheryl
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Facing Reality...
Wow! It's been near 2 months since I've last written!
Let me start by saying that my daughter's wedding was so beautiful! It turned out to be a gorgeous day and we were able to celebrate with family and friends from all over. =o) I am happy to say the newlyweds are most definitely enjoying wedded bliss! ;o)
Gosh! I feel like there's so much to say. So many thoughts running through my mind. I've been thinking about updating my blog for a little while now. It's been on my mind constantly! I have to confess, I'm a little nervous this time around. Not too sure why, but I am! It's been a roller coaster of emotions and trials since I last wrote. So with a prayer in my heart, I'm just going to write and let whatever thoughts come, just come.
In my last post, I talked about my Dad. For those who have read my posts, it's no secret that he took his own life nearly 3 months ago. Well, after the wedding and all the hoopla with that seemed to calm down, it seemed like for the first time I was really able to grieve the loss of my Dad. Not that I hadn't grieved before, it's just there were too many other things to focus on, that I kind of buried some of those emotions to deal with later. Well, later came. Along with that, there was other things going on as well. I won't go into too much detail about that, except to say it felt like everything was taking it's toll on me. Both physically and emotionally.
In regards to my grief about my Dad, it seemed to magnify ten-fold when at what would appear around the same time, I realized due to health reasons, I would not be able to attend my Dad's memorial service which is being held out of state. That alone devastated me.
I know where my Dad is. I know he is at peace. I know he is safe. I know he is watching over me. All of that wasn't the problem. It was the fact that for one, I wasn't able to make it my father-in-law's funeral and now this. It wasn't so much about being able to say good-bye. I know I can talk to him whenever I want. I just wanted to be there. To be near the rest of the family. To participate. And now I wasn't going to be able to do that.
On top of that realization, my Dad's obituary was in the paper. It was all so surreal to see it there. It was all there in black and white. He really was gone. Also, my Dad's cell phone was finally turned off, so I couldn't call it to hear his voice. There was no longer a reason to have "Dad Johansen" as a contact in my phone.
All of this hit me so hard. I realized the depth of my emotions and grief were much deeper than I thought. At first, I felt like I was handling it well. But with all of this, it sent me spiraling downhill. I guess you could say I went into an emotional void. I was going through the motions of life. I was taking care of my family, but I was internally sinking. I loved and still love my Dad very, very much. I was very close to him. I think that's why it's been so tough for me.
I want to share something with you. As I've been going through this dark period, I've still been trying to live my life and be a good person and do all the things that I know are right. Yet, I still felt like I was sinking! I would pray constantly for guidance and comfort. As well as understanding. I had started to question myself as a person! Wondering if I really was doing any good! My self-confidence seemed shattered. I just prayed to get out of this funk!
I've had this happen to me many, many times and I know it's happened to others. But one day I was trying to read my scriptures and I just couldn't focus where I had left off. So, I prayed that I would be led to what I should read. I just opened my scriptures. I did this for about a week and I want to share with you a part of my journal that talks about what I found.
"...I've been praying to find the scripture to read each day that will help me. Here's what's been happening lately.
"5/25/2010 - ...I was still struggling trying to figure out if I really was or has done anything good. Kind of like am I really worth it? Am I really good enough?
"Here is the scripture I found - Matt 25:34-40. It talks about feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting the sick, etc. - 'If ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.'
"I took that as I need to serve, but also that I have done these things in the past. So keep doing them. Think of others' needs.
"5/26/2010 - I opened my scriptures up to Alma 37:36-37. The message there was to pray always. IE: night and day. 'Let all your comings and goings be unto the Lord.'
"5/27/2010 -I was sad about everything... so I prayed and opened my scriptures to 2Ne 31:19-21. That scripture tells us to 'Press forward with a steadfastness in Christ.'
"To me that meant that I needed to stay strong even in the midst of great trials. Stay firm in the gospel.
"Today I had a very long prayer and then opened up my scriptures. This is what I read today. 5/28/2010 - Psalm 1 and D&C 75:1-5, 16. Here is what I got out of those - Be faithful unto the Lord, following His commandments and through that faithfulness and obedience we can gain eternal life.
"So here is the lesson:
5/25/10 - Serve others.
5/26/10 - Pray always.
5/27/10 - Press forward with a steadfastness in Christ.
5/28/10 - Remain faithful and gain eternal life.
"It's going to take time and work, but I know that as I do these things I will feel alive again! I will be able to have peace and joy. I will be able to progress.
"Although I have faltered greatly as of late, I know that the Lord does live! The gospel is true! That as hard as it is, this life really is worth living."
I'm not sure why I felt the need to share that, but I just did. So, I hope it means as much to you as it does me. Know that I really am OK and I mean it this time! =o)
I've learned many things throughout my life. One thing I do know is that there will be moments when life is really good and we're on top of the world! Then there are moments when it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Everything has a time and a season. There are lessons to be learned in everything we do. Everything we experience. Good or bad. Happy or sad.
The real question is, what are you going to do with that knowledge? With all those lessons learned through experience? Are you going to rise above it all or let it beat you down? Are you going to share it with others or bury it deep within? Are you willing to become a better person you were today than yesterday? Or are you willing to stand still and not progress at all?
We all have our "comfort zones". However sometimes we are forced to step "out of the box". I personally believe that it's in those moments when we "step out of the box" and leave our cocoon and really spread our wings, that we soar in life! I don't know about you but I'm ready to fly! =o)
May this summer be filled with many grand adventures whether at home or on the road! =o)
Also, to all the Dad's out there...especially my own and my husband's...Happy Father's Day!
Love, Cheryl
Let me start by saying that my daughter's wedding was so beautiful! It turned out to be a gorgeous day and we were able to celebrate with family and friends from all over. =o) I am happy to say the newlyweds are most definitely enjoying wedded bliss! ;o)
Gosh! I feel like there's so much to say. So many thoughts running through my mind. I've been thinking about updating my blog for a little while now. It's been on my mind constantly! I have to confess, I'm a little nervous this time around. Not too sure why, but I am! It's been a roller coaster of emotions and trials since I last wrote. So with a prayer in my heart, I'm just going to write and let whatever thoughts come, just come.
In my last post, I talked about my Dad. For those who have read my posts, it's no secret that he took his own life nearly 3 months ago. Well, after the wedding and all the hoopla with that seemed to calm down, it seemed like for the first time I was really able to grieve the loss of my Dad. Not that I hadn't grieved before, it's just there were too many other things to focus on, that I kind of buried some of those emotions to deal with later. Well, later came. Along with that, there was other things going on as well. I won't go into too much detail about that, except to say it felt like everything was taking it's toll on me. Both physically and emotionally.
In regards to my grief about my Dad, it seemed to magnify ten-fold when at what would appear around the same time, I realized due to health reasons, I would not be able to attend my Dad's memorial service which is being held out of state. That alone devastated me.
I know where my Dad is. I know he is at peace. I know he is safe. I know he is watching over me. All of that wasn't the problem. It was the fact that for one, I wasn't able to make it my father-in-law's funeral and now this. It wasn't so much about being able to say good-bye. I know I can talk to him whenever I want. I just wanted to be there. To be near the rest of the family. To participate. And now I wasn't going to be able to do that.
On top of that realization, my Dad's obituary was in the paper. It was all so surreal to see it there. It was all there in black and white. He really was gone. Also, my Dad's cell phone was finally turned off, so I couldn't call it to hear his voice. There was no longer a reason to have "Dad Johansen" as a contact in my phone.
All of this hit me so hard. I realized the depth of my emotions and grief were much deeper than I thought. At first, I felt like I was handling it well. But with all of this, it sent me spiraling downhill. I guess you could say I went into an emotional void. I was going through the motions of life. I was taking care of my family, but I was internally sinking. I loved and still love my Dad very, very much. I was very close to him. I think that's why it's been so tough for me.
I want to share something with you. As I've been going through this dark period, I've still been trying to live my life and be a good person and do all the things that I know are right. Yet, I still felt like I was sinking! I would pray constantly for guidance and comfort. As well as understanding. I had started to question myself as a person! Wondering if I really was doing any good! My self-confidence seemed shattered. I just prayed to get out of this funk!
I've had this happen to me many, many times and I know it's happened to others. But one day I was trying to read my scriptures and I just couldn't focus where I had left off. So, I prayed that I would be led to what I should read. I just opened my scriptures. I did this for about a week and I want to share with you a part of my journal that talks about what I found.
"...I've been praying to find the scripture to read each day that will help me. Here's what's been happening lately.
"5/25/2010 - ...I was still struggling trying to figure out if I really was or has done anything good. Kind of like am I really worth it? Am I really good enough?
"Here is the scripture I found - Matt 25:34-40. It talks about feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting the sick, etc. - 'If ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.'
"I took that as I need to serve, but also that I have done these things in the past. So keep doing them. Think of others' needs.
"5/26/2010 - I opened my scriptures up to Alma 37:36-37. The message there was to pray always. IE: night and day. 'Let all your comings and goings be unto the Lord.'
"5/27/2010 -I was sad about everything... so I prayed and opened my scriptures to 2Ne 31:19-21. That scripture tells us to 'Press forward with a steadfastness in Christ.'
"To me that meant that I needed to stay strong even in the midst of great trials. Stay firm in the gospel.
"Today I had a very long prayer and then opened up my scriptures. This is what I read today. 5/28/2010 - Psalm 1 and D&C 75:1-5, 16. Here is what I got out of those - Be faithful unto the Lord, following His commandments and through that faithfulness and obedience we can gain eternal life.
"So here is the lesson:
5/25/10 - Serve others.
5/26/10 - Pray always.
5/27/10 - Press forward with a steadfastness in Christ.
5/28/10 - Remain faithful and gain eternal life.
"It's going to take time and work, but I know that as I do these things I will feel alive again! I will be able to have peace and joy. I will be able to progress.
"Although I have faltered greatly as of late, I know that the Lord does live! The gospel is true! That as hard as it is, this life really is worth living."
I'm not sure why I felt the need to share that, but I just did. So, I hope it means as much to you as it does me. Know that I really am OK and I mean it this time! =o)
I've learned many things throughout my life. One thing I do know is that there will be moments when life is really good and we're on top of the world! Then there are moments when it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Everything has a time and a season. There are lessons to be learned in everything we do. Everything we experience. Good or bad. Happy or sad.
The real question is, what are you going to do with that knowledge? With all those lessons learned through experience? Are you going to rise above it all or let it beat you down? Are you going to share it with others or bury it deep within? Are you willing to become a better person you were today than yesterday? Or are you willing to stand still and not progress at all?
We all have our "comfort zones". However sometimes we are forced to step "out of the box". I personally believe that it's in those moments when we "step out of the box" and leave our cocoon and really spread our wings, that we soar in life! I don't know about you but I'm ready to fly! =o)
May this summer be filled with many grand adventures whether at home or on the road! =o)
Also, to all the Dad's out there...especially my own and my husband's...Happy Father's Day!
Love, Cheryl
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