Ramblings of Cheryl's Mind

Winds of Change

2011-09-15T10:39:00.001-06:00

It's been a few months since I last wrote. What else is new, right? I think some things will never change. ;o)

Well, since I last wrote, I feel like so much has changed. I used to write you from the warmth of southern Utah, but one month ago today, we left Utah for North Dakota. NORTH DAKOTA!?!?!?! You might ask with a stunned high screech to your voice? Yes...you heard me right. North Dakota.

I know Josh Duhamel, the actor and of course husband to Black Eyed Peas singer Fergie, is from here, but other than that, and I apologize to anyone who may have grown-up or lived or still lives in North Dakota for what I'm about to say, but I truly never really thought of North Dakota.

I knew it was part of the United States of America. I knew it was above South Dakota. But honestly, having driven through the dreaded long roads of Nebraska and Wyoming, more times than I care to admit, I just never thought to think above those state lines. It never in my wildest dreams occurred to me that I could actually live here. And to top it off, we aren't that far from Canada! I hate cold weather! But here we are. The scary thing about it all, is that I'm actually growing to like it here! Quick! Someone take my temperature! I swear I'm getting sick! Sick in the head, right? ;o)

So, why are we here? My dear husband was able to get a really great job here. It was not planned, nor even thought about. He saw an ad for a job online one day and after some heavy duty praying, POOF! Six weeks later we moved and have been here about a month.

Don't even get me started on the actual move. That's a whole other story that I won't get into. Let's just say, from all the moves I've ever made, and I've made A LOT, this was one of the most adventurous and stressful moves I think I have ever experienced. I guess that's one thing about our family...we always have some interesting adventures in our lives! ;o)

I titled this entry "Winds of Change". That phrase has been on my mind forever. Sometimes there is a calm breeze that feels so relaxing, especially in the hot sun. Then there can be a cooler breeze that blows around the fallen leaves. Sometimes the wind gusts can get pretty high and you can barely hang on to your umbrella or your coat. Then of course there are hurricane force winds or tornadoes that rip through everything in its paths and nothing is ever the same again. You can rebuild, but nothing will ever be the way it once was.

To me, that is life. I've had my fair share of joys and trials throughout my life. As well as many changes and this move is no exception. In a way, this move was kind of like the calm before the storm. Everything was going well. Not perfect, but we were living our lives as usual. The week before we found out about John's job, we had just talked about how we weren't moving and how good it felt and then out of the blue, everything changed. And with that change came an array of emotions.

Excitement because we knew it was right. We knew we were being blessed with a good job. Sadness because we were leaving many friends and the comfort zone we created. Apprehension because of the unknown. As well as many other emotions. Not to mention the emotions we experienced once we got here. John had already been here over a month before the rest of us came, so he was familiar with everything, but the kids and I weren't. We worked through all that and although we are still adjusting, I'm happy to report that all is well.

Winds of change, you just never know when they will come. Whether it's a new job and a new location; a death in the family or a new baby born; a marriage or even just growing up...over time, you learn to expect the unexpected. Plans change. People change. Life happens. Some changes can be good. Some bad. Some sad. You never know.

I just know from my experience, that how you react to change can greatly affect your life. In some situations, certain emotions are completely understandable and expected, but my hope is that our overall reactions to things will be good. That our hearts can be lightened and the beauty of our surroundings evident. That we'll be able to see things through clearer eyes. That whatever winds of change are hoped for, that the possibilities might be endless.

Love Always,
Cheryl

It's May!!

2011-05-02T06:10:00.001-06:00

Where has the time gone? Really?

So, there's definitely a lot going on in my household right now. Just to fill you in, my Grandmother recently passed away. She's my Dad's mom. Ironically, she passed away on the 1 yr anniversary of my Dad's death. I knew her time on this earth was coming to a close, but I have to say, my sister and I were sure hoping she wouldn't pick that day to return to her Heavenly Home. Given the circumstances of my Dad's passing, we knew it would make that day particularly hard.

Although I was hoping March 22nd wouldn't be the day, deep down inside I knew it would be. I was prepared spiritually. What's interesting is that I was a nervous wreck all the days leading up to March 22nd, but on that day, I was kept busy and didn't dwell too much on the sadness of that day and although I felt a little anxious, once I got the call from my Uncle informing my that my Grandmother did indeed pass away, I became extremely calm and peaceful. I miss her terribly, but instead of mourning a life cut short, I celebrate the full life she lived.

In April, my husband celebrated his 40th birthday and we had a fun surprise party for him. Also my little man, Josh, turned 5. I don't want him to grow up, but he just won't listen to me! ;o) And now that we are in May, my daughter Cassie and her husband, celebrated their 1 yr anniversary yesterday. Hard to believe it's gone by that quick. Alicia is graduating high school and will soon be turning 18. Some time in the next 6-8 months, she's planning on going off to college. Not sure how I feel about that. She was out to a church activity last night with friends and the rest of us were home eating and we realized that this is what it will be like when she's away at school or when she's off and married, whenever that comes. I have to say, it was weeeirrrddd!! LOL But we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

I just wanted to say hello to everyone out there in the blog-o-sphere and to let you know I haven't forgotten about you! I can feel my creative juices flowing again and I'm EXCITED about it. Hopefully in the near future, I'll have something new to share! About time right!? ;o)

I hope May will be a beautiful month for all! Summer is just around the corner...officially, that is. In some places it already feels like Summer. That sounds good to me! =o)

Love,
Cheryl

Happy Valentine's Day!

2011-02-14T22:26:00.000-07:00

I hope LOVE was in the air for everyone today since it is Valentine's Day. =o)

Whether or not you were the recipient of a bouquet of flowers, a box of chocolates, or fine dining, I hope you felt loved one way or another. Now our family, we didn't give Valentines out to each other this year, but we did have a very lovely home-cooked meal. We all ate together around the dinner table and enjoyed good conversation and laughter. Then we all had heart shaped cupcakes for dessert that we made earlier in the day. It was all very delicious. I admit, John did come home and surprise me with 2 of my favorite candy bars and my favorite soda. Perhaps not very romantic to some, but I appreciated it. ;o)

I know I didn't post anything for New Year's, but I hope everyone had a great time ringing in the new year. I know we did. My daughter and son-in-law stayed with us for about a week and were able to celebrate with us. It was a good time.

I was having a little trouble with my New Year's resolutions. In the end, I decided to just keep it simple. I was also in a very reflective mood. 2010 was a difficult year for me on many different levels. I had to work through some emotions and put things in its proper perspective.

This last little while I have to say, I've felt very restless. I'm not 100% sure why. Have you ever felt lost in a crowded room? Almost invisible? That's how I've been feeling. I've had to put so many things on the back burner to take care of other things, that I think I've lost my way a bit.

My health was at its worse in December. It controlled everything and in a way, I suppose it still does. I have loved ones I care about going through difficult trials and I've been trying to be there for them. Also taking care of my family's needs. I can tell I've withdrawn inward, if that makes any sense. Like I've told friends at church one Sunday, I've felt like my insecurities were blaring in front of me on a jumbotron. I've just felt so unsure of myself and my talents and my purpose. Why? What on earth is causing all of this?

As I've been trying to work through these things. I think I've realized that as I've been so busy dealing with all these other things, I've lost a part of myself. Or rather forgotten who I really am. Now it's time to recreate myself. Really become who I want to be.

I can't help but feel that this restlessness that I've been feeling is an inward knowledge of change. I just have this feeling that change is in the air. I don't mean moving or anything like that. But I think it's perhaps more of
a change in myself. I need to be ready for it. Can I do it? I suppose it will come whether I'm ready or not. ;o)But hopefully it's more like there is Someone who knows I'm ready and it's His spirit that I feel preparing me for that change. I would like to think so. =o)

As this Valentine's day comes to a close...it's already tomorrow on the East coast...know that love doesn't have to be between you and a significant other. It can be the joy in your heart because today was a beautiful day. Someone made you smile. You found $5.00 in a jacket pocket you forgot about from 4 months ago. You got an A on a test. Anything! It doesn't matter.

What I'm trying to say is no matter whether you are alone in a crowded room or life just seems to be going your way and nothing can stop you from your dreams, you are beautiful, special and most of all loved...by your family, friends, pet, or even me and most of all by Someone greater than us all.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!
Love, Cheryl

Becky Kelley - Where's the Line to See Jesus - OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO

2010-12-08T12:58:00.000-07:00

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire...

2010-12-08T12:50:00.002-07:00

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,
Jack Frost nipping on your nose,
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir,
And folks dressed up like Eskimos.

Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe,
Help to make the season bright.
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow,
Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

They know that Santa's on his way;
He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh.
And every mother's child is going to spy,
To see if reindeer really know how to fly.

And so I'm offering this simple phrase,
To kids from one to ninety-two,
Although its been said many times, many ways,
A very Merry Christmas to you

I couldn't help but post those lyrics on here. Who doesn't know this classic sung by the great Nat King Cole? =o)

Happy December everyone and Merry Christmas!!
I know it's been some time since I last wrote and I must apologize for that. I've been on a bit of a roller coaster ride this last little while.

As we near the end of 2010, I've been reflecting a great deal on the events in my life of the past 12 months, as I'm sure many of us do time and time again. I have to say, it's definitely been one crazy year! ;o) I'm quite certain, we all say the same thing every time! LOL

I have to confess, my world has been rocked to its very core. As hard as I've tried to be strong, I admit, I've had my weak moments. 11 days from now, marks the one year anniversary of my Father-in-law's passing. With my own Dad passing earlier this year, there were a lot of "first's" without him that he would normally be a part of. I did pretty well until we got to his birthday in October and then Thanksgiving. He was with us just last year, so a lot of memories came rushing back. The bottom line is that I really just miss them both...a lot.

Okay, enough of my blubbering!! ;o) Onto merrier things!! Like Christmas and the New Year!!

I believe every child within us is anxiously awaiting Santa Claus' arrival to see what goodies he will bring us. What a beautiful spirit he brings with him...the spirit of GIVING. Isn't such a wonderful feeling when we think of others and do special things for them, no matter how large or small? It always gives me great joy when I can be there for someone. Especially when I can drop a plate of cookies or treats to them.

Depending on how you look at it, I suppose this time of year can bring out the worst in us too. It all depends on what you are focused on. But I hope it will bring out the best in everyone.

I know when we think of Christmas we think of Santa and his reindeer. Of Christmas trees and snowmen. Of presents under the tree and stockings filled with treats. But I hope most of all, that we will remember the true meaning of Christmas. Why we celebrate this holiday in the first place...the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Luke 2: 4-14
"And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judæa, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)

"To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.

"And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.

"And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

"And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.

"And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

"And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

"For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

"And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

"And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men."

How grateful I am to Him for His willingness to come to this earth and sacrifice all for my sake, as well as the whole world. Such humble beginnings for a Heavenly King.

May your hearts be filled with love and gratitude, warmth and laughter this Christmas season.

Merry Christmas everyone!! May Santa bring all the toys and goodies you've been wishing for! ;o)

Love, Cheryl

Happy September!!

2010-09-01T14:47:00.000-06:00

I've really let time go by before writing again! It seems like there's just been so much going on.

Here we are in September. Fall is just around the corner! Typically with Fall comes cooler weather, warm apple pie, bonfires with roasted marshmallows and breaking out the hot cocoa. But here in southern Utah, it means the public pool closes soon, as well as Snokaps...only the best shaved ice treat EVER!! ;o) The temps do cool down a little, but it will still feel like summer for a while.

We're going camping with our ward at church in a couple of weeks so I'm sure there will be s'mores around the campfire. I'm definitely looking forward to warm apple pie and my favorite hot cocoa is mint chocolate. YUM!

All of my girls are back in school. Josh started preschool last week! So for 2 days a week, I have the house ALL to myself! ((contented sigh)) ;o)

Life is going good. It took me a little while to adjust to the new school schedule. But we seem to be back on track! I still have my ups and downs healthwise, but that's ok. I've been getting ready to let my creative mind loose. So beware! ;o) Every time I think I'm ready, there's been some type of obtacle in the way. Hopefully those are starting to clear up! =o)

There is a part of me that isn't ready for time to keep flying by. My little guy is growing up and in preschool now. He loves it! He thinks his teacher is pretty. He told me that yesterday. Isn't that cute! ;o) My oldest daughter turns 20 next month! Can it be two decades since she was born already?? I have 2 in high school. One a senior the other a freshman. I have an 8th grader and my youngest daughter just turned 12! That's big in our house because now she's out of Primary and in Young Womens at church! When did they all get so big??

There's been lots of babies born to friends from church. I have one friend in particular who lets me hold her baby all the time. I love it! I just say I'm practicing for my Grandma role. LOL Can I just say it's so scary to even say that??!! I FEEL too young to even be saying that! But you know, it could happen. My oldest is a married woman now. LOL

As I think of all these things, truly, life is just flying by. It's moments like these when you just wish you could freeze time for a while. But you can't. The leaves will still fall to the ground. The seasons will change. But inevitably spring will return and new life will abound. Just as new flowers will bloom, new friendships will be formed and new love found. Life experiences will allow us growth and through them our perspectives may change. It's all there for us to learn and grow from. Such is the cycle of life. There is a time and a season for everything in our lives.

Just as the Summer is fading away, making way for Fall, may we be ready and willing to accept the changing seasons that occur within us all. That's what I am working on now.

Before I go, I would like to share a link with you. http://www.refresheverything.com/matteasjoy
Please check out the link and vote for my friend's cause!! Here is a little bit about Mattea's Joy.

"About Mattea's Joy - Our daughter, Mattea, passed away in January, 2010 after 9 wonderful months with us. We spent 7 months at the University of Chicago Comer Children's Hospital with her in the ICU. We have started our foundation, Mattea's Joy, to support parents in the ICU because we know the shoes they walk in."

Mattea's parents, Gary and Jamie are dear friends of ours and I would love it if you could help me help them by voting for their cause so they can win a grant that would help fund the needs for their cause.

Sending my love to all who read my blog! Happy September!!

Love, Cheryl

Facing Reality...

2010-06-17T14:28:00.001-06:00

Wow! It's been near 2 months since I've last written!

Let me start by saying that my daughter's wedding was so beautiful! It turned out to be a gorgeous day and we were able to celebrate with family and friends from all over. =o) I am happy to say the newlyweds are most definitely enjoying wedded bliss! ;o)

Gosh! I feel like there's so much to say. So many thoughts running through my mind. I've been thinking about updating my blog for a little while now. It's been on my mind constantly! I have to confess, I'm a little nervous this time around. Not too sure why, but I am! It's been a roller coaster of emotions and trials since I last wrote. So with a prayer in my heart, I'm just going to write and let whatever thoughts come, just come.

In my last post, I talked about my Dad. For those who have read my posts, it's no secret that he took his own life nearly 3 months ago. Well, after the wedding and all the hoopla with that seemed to calm down, it seemed like for the first time I was really able to grieve the loss of my Dad. Not that I hadn't grieved before, it's just there were too many other things to focus on, that I kind of buried some of those emotions to deal with later. Well, later came. Along with that, there was other things going on as well. I won't go into too much detail about that, except to say it felt like everything was taking it's toll on me. Both physically and emotionally.

In regards to my grief about my Dad, it seemed to magnify ten-fold when at what would appear around the same time, I realized due to health reasons, I would not be able to attend my Dad's memorial service which is being held out of state. That alone devastated me.

I know where my Dad is. I know he is at peace. I know he is safe. I know he is watching over me. All of that wasn't the problem. It was the fact that for one, I wasn't able to make it my father-in-law's funeral and now this. It wasn't so much about being able to say good-bye. I know I can talk to him whenever I want. I just wanted to be there. To be near the rest of the family. To participate. And now I wasn't going to be able to do that.

On top of that realization, my Dad's obituary was in the paper. It was all so surreal to see it there. It was all there in black and white. He really was gone. Also, my Dad's cell phone was finally turned off, so I couldn't call it to hear his voice. There was no longer a reason to have "Dad Johansen" as a contact in my phone.

All of this hit me so hard. I realized the depth of my emotions and grief were much deeper than I thought. At first, I felt like I was handling it well. But with all of this, it sent me spiraling downhill. I guess you could say I went into an emotional void. I was going through the motions of life. I was taking care of my family, but I was internally sinking. I loved and still love my Dad very, very much. I was very close to him. I think that's why it's been so tough for me.

I want to share something with you. As I've been going through this dark period, I've still been trying to live my life and be a good person and do all the things that I know are right. Yet, I still felt like I was sinking! I would pray constantly for guidance and comfort. As well as understanding. I had started to question myself as a person! Wondering if I really was doing any good! My self-confidence seemed shattered. I just prayed to get out of this funk!

I've had this happen to me many, many times and I know it's happened to others. But one day I was trying to read my scriptures and I just couldn't focus where I had left off. So, I prayed that I would be led to what I should read. I just opened my scriptures. I did this for about a week and I want to share with you a part of my journal that talks about what I found.

"...I've been praying to find the scripture to read each day that will help me. Here's what's been happening lately.

"5/25/2010 - ...I was still struggling trying to figure out if I really was or has done anything good. Kind of like am I really worth it? Am I really good enough?

"Here is the scripture I found - Matt 25:34-40. It talks about feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting the sick, etc. - 'If ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.'

"I took that as I need to serve, but also that I have done these things in the past. So keep doing them. Think of others' needs.

"5/26/2010 - I opened my scriptures up to Alma 37:36-37. The message there was to pray always. IE: night and day. 'Let all your comings and goings be unto the Lord.'

"5/27/2010 -I was sad about everything... so I prayed and opened my scriptures to 2Ne 31:19-21. That scripture tells us to 'Press forward with a steadfastness in Christ.'

"To me that meant that I needed to stay strong even in the midst of great trials. Stay firm in the gospel.

"Today I had a very long prayer and then opened up my scriptures. This is what I read today. 5/28/2010 - Psalm 1 and D&C 75:1-5, 16. Here is what I got out of those - Be faithful unto the Lord, following His commandments and through that faithfulness and obedience we can gain eternal life.

"So here is the lesson:
5/25/10 - Serve others.
5/26/10 - Pray always.
5/27/10 - Press forward with a steadfastness in Christ.
5/28/10 - Remain faithful and gain eternal life.

"It's going to take time and work, but I know that as I do these things I will feel alive again! I will be able to have peace and joy. I will be able to progress.

"Although I have faltered greatly as of late, I know that the Lord does live! The gospel is true! That as hard as it is, this life really is worth living."

I'm not sure why I felt the need to share that, but I just did. So, I hope it means as much to you as it does me. Know that I really am OK and I mean it this time! =o)

I've learned many things throughout my life. One thing I do know is that there will be moments when life is really good and we're on top of the world! Then there are moments when it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Everything has a time and a season. There are lessons to be learned in everything we do. Everything we experience. Good or bad. Happy or sad.

The real question is, what are you going to do with that knowledge? With all those lessons learned through experience? Are you going to rise above it all or let it beat you down? Are you going to share it with others or bury it deep within? Are you willing to become a better person you were today than yesterday? Or are you willing to stand still and not progress at all?

We all have our "comfort zones". However sometimes we are forced to step "out of the box". I personally believe that it's in those moments when we "step out of the box" and leave our cocoon and really spread our wings, that we soar in life! I don't know about you but I'm ready to fly! =o)

May this summer be filled with many grand adventures whether at home or on the road! =o)

Also, to all the Dad's out there...especially my own and my husband's...Happy Father's Day!

Love, Cheryl

Spring is in the Air!

2010-04-27T07:39:00.001-06:00

They say that April showers bring May flowers. Is it true? Can it be? Well, having passed through the rain and storms of life these last few weeks or so, I have to say I think it is. Flowers are blooming everywhere! Not just in nature, but in life as well.

My daughter Cassie and her fiancee are getting married this Saturday, May 1st. I can't believe it's here already! Family and friends will start arriving tomorrow and continue to come through Saturday. We have been busy with preparations. I know it will get even busier as we get closer to the wedding date!

The bride and groom are anxiously awaiting their nuptials. It's been fun to watch them...such young love! ;o) Oh, to be young again! LOL They are perfect for each other and we couldn't be happier for them! =o)

On a different note:

I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm OK. =o) Life's been a bit overwhelming at times. My body doesn't always cooperate with me ;o) It's something I've had to deal with for years and the frustration can be great depending on the day. Then with my Dad's sudden death and Cassie's wedding, life seemed to get a little more than crazy for a while. ;o)

I cannot pretend that I am not still affected by my Dad's death. It's something that will be with me for the rest of my life. It's what I do with it that matters. I will have days when I am sad. I will have days when I cry. There will be many times, I'm sure, throughout the remainder of my life where I will miss him terribly, but what about the other days?

There will be days when I may not think of my Dad every second of every day...and that's OK. =o)

There will be days where instead of heartache and disappointment, there will be courage, hope and understanding...and that's OK. =o)

There will be days where instead of crying out of sadness, I will cry because for some reason my heart will be filled with joy...and that's really OK. =o)

There will be days when instead of counting my trials, I will be counting my blessings...and that's even better than OK! =o)

There will be days when I feel silly and hang out with my girlfriends and we are totally obnoxious and laugh until our sides hurt...and that's OK. In fact, it's more than OK! =o)

There will be days where instead of being unable to move at all, I will be able to play with my kids, even for just a little bit...and that is extremely OK! =o)

Most of all, there will be days where instead of questioning my faith, I will be feeding it, watering it, nourishing it...and that's OK. Heck, that's the best OK to be! =o)

The point I'm trying to make in all of this is this:

Life is a learning and growing process. There will be ups and downs. There will be moments when you feel like the world is caving in on you. There will be times when even in a room full of people, you will feel all alone and invisible. There will be moments when the weight on your shoulders may seem hard to bear. Perhaps at times, you will feel like it's hard to take another breath of life and darkness is swallowing you up.

If so, listen up!

It is at those moments where you reach out to the heavens and grasp onto the Light of His Love!! You walk by faith through the dark forest of life, moving towards the light at the edge, knowing that's your way out! When trials come upon you, that is when you grow, but only if you allow yourself!

There have been many times in my life when I didn't think I could breathe another day, another moment, another second. But I did anyway. Why? Because this life is meant to be beautiful, but only if your eyes are truly open. It is through the trials of our faith that we earn blessings. If you look back at your life,, you will realize, just as I have, that there have been several "Footprints in the Sand" moments.

I promise you, that if you can just hold on tight and make it through the "Refiner's Fire", you too will see when you look back at those dark and trying moments, that there will only be One set of footprints. It is then, that you will realize that you were/are never really alone.

God lives! I know it with my whole heart and soul! Know always that He loves you! Know always that I love you!

Thank you for all your love on my behalf. I will cherish it always!

Love, Cheryl

A Grieving Heart...

2010-04-03T18:17:00.001-06:00

I started to write this a few days ago. At the time, I have to confess my heart was somewhat frustrated and perhaps even hardened a bit.

You see, three months ago on December 19, 2009, my father-in-law passed away from brain cancer. We found out in November of the diagnosis and prognosis and five weeks later he had passed on. That was a very difficult loss for our family and all those who loved my father-in-law. Then on March 22, 2010, nearly two weeks ago, my own father passed away. My father though, did not die from natural causes. He actually committed suicide. I will not give the details of how or where, just suffice it to say, he took his own life.

To say I was devastated is a complete understatement of what my emotions truly were and perhaps even still are.

You see, we only lived about 4 hours or so apart. In fact, exactly one week before he died, we saw him and had burgers and ice cream with him at McDonald’s. Two days before he died, I was talking to him over the phone about my daughter’s upcoming wedding and how we needed to buy him a plane ticket soon so he could be here for the wedding. To me, Dad seemed tired, but overall, everything seemed ok.

Then on Monday, March 22, 2010, two police officers came to my door to inform me of the news. Devastation, as I said before, seemed to be the main emotion. Shock, disbelief and anger were all present as well. It was hard enough to know my Dad was gone, but then to learn he ended his own life, created a grief unlike any I have ever known.

Add to that another daughter, my younger sister, his mother and two brothers, as well as several other family members and friends who loved him dearly are also grieving such a sudden and tragic loss.

I am learning quickly of the ripple effect such a loss has on the world. I don’t think my Dad realized how many people were touched by his life; touched by his goodness and kind heart. How sad that my Dad felt like he had no other choice but to leave this earth the way he did.

It’s been nearly two weeks. I’d be lying if I said was doing ok. I’ve had family and even friends pass away, but never in a manner such as this. I know in time my heart will heal and the pain will ease. Perhaps some memories will fade.

However, through it all, I know without a doubt my love for my Dad will never change. If anything, it will continue to grow. It will grow because I know with all my heart and soul that there is life after death. I know my Dad is at peace from the pains of this world. He is learning and growing in his own spiritual way. He is with family and friends who have passed on before him. Not only that, he is able to truly feel the love of a kind Heavenly Father and a Brother, a Savior and Redeemer, even Jesus Christ.

If nothing else, this experience has increased my faith in God…In the tender mercies of the Lord…In the Atonement.

Tomorrow is Easter Sunday. What better way to cherish the life of my father, than to celebrate the resurrection of our Savior. I do not agree with how my father chose to end his life, but I will continue to honor his memory, because to me, he did the best he could. He loved me unconditionally and he deserves no less. I will love my life in a way that will not only make my earthly father proud, but most importantly, my Heavenly Father proud. One day, I know I will live with Him again. My heart is in Heaven and in the eternal blessings I can live for. Always remember, “Where your heart is, there your treasure will be also.”

Wishing you a beautiful tomorrow...
Love, Cheryl

Just Living Life...

2010-02-20T09:10:00.000-07:00

It's been close to two months since I last wrote. I'm always surprised at how quickly time flies for me in between postings.

We had our friend Kaelyn and her family over yesterday. I met her in Florida when she was just 14 yr. old and my Emily was a brand new baby. I hadn't seen her in a few years. We've kept in touch all this time. She used to babysit my girls. Now she has a little girl of her own and another one on the way! I feel so old! ;o)

My daughter Cassie is getting married in a just a couple of months. Now we are getting busy with those preparations. Another sign of getting old! I'm going to be a mother-in-law very, very soon!

It looks like hubby is going to have to go back on the road for work. We'll find out this next week. The company he was working for went under. Oh well, what do you do? Just gotta grin and bear it, right? Or at least try to! ;o) I'm not looking forward to that possibility, but it will leave more writing time for me! =o)

I reconnected with an old friend of mine recently on Facebook. That was very exciting for me. I hadn't talked to her in close to 17 years. She's always been very near and dear to my heart even though we've lost touch. I'm excited to hear how life's been for her all these years.

I sure wish I had something more exciting to share, but I don't. It's just every day life going on over here. =o) I'm finding myself in one of those "stretching" moments in life. A time to grow and become stronger. So, that's what I'm working on.

I've got a couple of poems to work on that are swirling around in my head, along with more to my sequel. I haven't been able to work on it as frequently as I would like. It all depends on how I'm doing healthwise. Right now it feels like I'm going through a good spell. I'll take it while it lasts! ;o)

I'm looking forward to Spring. I love the warmer weather and the beautiful flowers that come with it. I suppose I can't really complain though. Being in southern Utah, it's a lot warmer than most areas. I'm grateful for that! =o)

It's been two months since my father-in-law passed away from brain cancer. My sister-in-law has a team for the American Cancer Society: Relay for Life in honor of Dad (Charlie Solis). It's called Families are Forever. We are trying to raise money to help find a cure.

If you would like to donate to our cause please click on the following link and it will connect you to my mother-in-law, Nancy Solis' page: http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY10IL?px=14130943&pg=personal&fr_id=22183

I know this is for Dad, my father-in law, but it's also personal because my own mother is recovering from lung cancer. Needless to say, this is very special to me.

I think of Dad every day. I miss him very much and I love him even more. I know where he is and I know that he can feel my love. What comfort that gives me! =o)

Here's to looking forward to Spring and all the wonderful things it has to offer. As it is a new season with Mother Nature, it's also a new season in life filled with new choices to make. A daughter growing up and getting married. One more teenager to add to the mix and my baby turning into a little boy.

Like I said before, my how time flies by when you least expect it! Here's to growing and "streching" in the right direction! =o)

Love, Cheryl

JUST AROUND THE CORNER

2009-12-30T09:17:00.002-07:00

Just around the corner is a brand new year. Can you believe it? I know I say it every year, but each time it truly feels like the year has just flown by.

I know I missed posting a Christmas blog. My Father-in-law passed away on December 19, 2009 and with life being what it was during the month, I just didn't get to it. So to everyone, I offer a heartfelt belated Merry Christmas!! Isn't it wonderful to be able to celebrate with the world the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ? I LOVE IT!!

Now we are about to celebrate with the world, the ringing in of the new year. Any New Year's resolutions in mind? Have you set any goals? I'm still working on mine, but I do have a few in mind.

Every day or so, I get inspirational quotes sent to my email. Here is one I got this morning from LDSNuggets:

"Let us remember, too, that greatness is not always a matter of the scale of one’s life, but of the quality of one’s life. True greatness is not always tied to the scope of our tasks, but to the quality of how we carry out our tasks whatever they are. In that attitude, let us give our time, ourselves, and our talents to the things that really matter now, things which will still matter a thousand years from now." --Spencer W. Kimball, "A Gift of Gratitude", Tambuli, Dec 1977

So many thoughts ran through my mind this morning as I read this quote. How fitting. Everyone will be making new goals and resolutions this coming week for the new year. What an array those could be! It could be anything from getting fit to going on that dream vacation.

But the real question is how many of us are willing to make new goals and resolutions that will change us internally? By that I mean mentally, emotionally, and spiritually? Goals that could change our hearts? Goals that make us a better person?

That's what I think this quote is talking about. Changing ourselves so that we are a better people and through that we have a lasting impact on others. In other words, what kind of LEGACY do you want to leave behind? What can we do that would still matter a thousand years from now? Or even longer...say forever?

Here's what I say, determine what kind of legacy you want to leave behind. What you want to be remembered for. What you want people to think of as they reminisce about you. Once you figure that out... LIVE IT!!

Sure, it will change from time to time, but LIVE NOW the way you want to be remembered. Does it have to be anything grand? No of course not. (re-read the quote if you need to) BUT you do want it to MATTER in the best possible and long-lasting way.

May 2010 be a year filled with dreams realized and joy in abundance.

Happy New Year!

Love, Cheryl

GRATITUDE

2009-11-14T10:12:00.010-07:00

Thanksgiving is just around the corner. As I have thought about the holiday, the word GRATITUDE came to mind.

Gratitude is "the state of being grateful: Thankfulness."

So in the spirit of giving thanks; hence the word Thanksgiving, I'd like to express my thoughts and feelings on gratitude.

I'm grateful for my husband. We lived apart for almost 3 months after our move and now he is an over-the-road truck driver. So, I only get to see him maybe a couple of times a week. I'm grateful for his hard work and sacrifice for our family. I'm grateful for the time we can be together.

So, never take for granted the time spent with your significant other. One day you may see each other daily and the next, circumstances might change and one is gone a lot more. In an experience like this, you definitely learn to appreciate all they did for you that may not have seemed significant at one point, but are now laid mostly on your shoulders.

I'm grateful for my health. Although it's not great. Some days I can hardly move or do anything. Some days I'm in a lot of pain. But some days, I feel like I can live a normal day and do normal things. I helped a neighbor down the road recently. She can hardly move at all right now. I cut her hair for her one night and we brought her family dinner another night.

Even though I completely understand on one level what she's going through, I can still move more than she can on most days. So never take for granted your mobility and independence to do even the most mundane things around your home.

I'm grateful for the ups and downs of life. Although times can be tough, trials difficult to bear. I know that there are lessons to be learned in all things. Through those lessons, our lives need to be touched and we need to touch others' lives.

So never take for granted the growing pains of life we may experience. Because through them, we can choose to become a better people or not. If we choose the higher road, the better example we can be for those who might need our love and support.

I'm grateful for faith and hope. For without either, life would not be worth living. As you exercise faith and express hope, you give yourself a reason to get up in the morning. You give yourself something to look forward to.

So never take for granted your belief system and never undermine someone else's because you never know when you might have to rely on it more than normal.

I'm grateful each day I'm alive. My father-in-law is terminally ill and doesn't have much time left on this earth. At least that's what we've been told. What's crazy is it's all happened this week! We just found out the full details today. So, as I take a break to write this, we are preparing for a road trip to see "Dad" and "Grandpa" one more time.

Dad...he's the one you thought could live to be a hundred! He works harder than anyone I know. He's knows a lot about just about everything. It seems like he can fix anything. He never seemed to get sick and he was the "go to" guy. That is just Dad.

So never take for granted the breath of life because you never know when it might be taken from you.

Last, but not least, I'm grateful for love. Not only the love of my husband and children, but of all of my family and friends. Even beyond all of that, I'm grateful for the love of my Heavenly Father. Without love, you may never feel your worth as a son or daughter; brother or sister; mother or father. You may never feel your worth as a human being or even more important, a child of God.

Never take for granted the sincerity of someone's heart. For it may warm your cold one. Never take for granted a kind gesture or kind word. For it may put a smile on your sad face. Never take for granted the comforting arms of the Savior around you. For He may heal your broken spirit.

These are just some things that I've been thinking about lately and wanted to share. May you be filled with the love of a thankful heart. Make sure those around you know and feel of your gratitude toward them, in whatever capacity. You never know who may be watching and trying to be just like you.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I pray you can feel the love I have in my heart for you!

Love,

Cheryl

BOO!

2009-10-30T22:46:00.005-06:00

Did I scare you? hehe

I'm sure I did considering I haven't written in almost 3 months!

Happy Halloween!

It's time for ghosts and goblins to roam the streets in search of sugar-coated, yummy sweets! Will there be any goblins at your house this year? Not here. What do we have?

Let's see...my little guy Josh is going to be a pirate. He's only 3. So it was so cute when I brought his costume home and he saw it and said "Oooh! A pirate...Arrggh!" He even put his hand up in a hook. I have a fairy, that's Makenna and a popstar, Emily. Then I have one daughter, Kelly, who says she's going to be herself and dress up in PJ's. Can you guess who that is? Whatever floats your boat, right? ;o) It's all in the fun! Not sure what Alicia is going to be. I guess we'll find out later.

We are having a "Trunk or Treat" at church tomorrow. Can't wait to see the loads of candy we get to bring home to our house! (not really) Oh boy, church on Sunday is going to be a blast! ;o) Just think of all those sugared-up kiddos roaming around! ;o)

On to other things...

I've SO been meaning to update the blog for forever! Life has been more hectic these last 6 months than I thought possible!

We've been here in southern Utah for 3 months now. I LOVE it here! But dear hubby was back in Tennessee for 2 and 1/2 of those months. We got to have him home here in Utah for almost 2 weeks but now he's on the road working.
=(

So, I've been holding up the fort here. With all the girls that I have, let's just say we've had our share of drama around here. Then you add a crazy 3 yr old in the mix and that just adds to some crazy adventures. Here's a little recap of our life here in Utah so far.

We got here on a Thursday and John left for TN on the following Tuesday. Well, that following Saturday (our first weekend without John) we had a special visitor come to our home. A very nice policeman bringing my 3 yr old son home to me. While I was unpacking in my room and his sisters were all in the living room watching TV or working in their rooms, even though they were supposed to be watching him, he opened the front door and decided to go for a walk. Apparently no one noticed he left.

So this nice policeman rings my doorbell and asks my kids, "Do you have a little brother named Josh?" and "Can I talk to your mom or dad?" Of course I walk out and see what's going on and get scared to death! There is a policeman at my door! Then, there Josh is in his UNDERWEAR no less, riding someone else's tricycle in my driveway! The little thief! I have a little chat with nice Mr. Policeman. Of course he's working real hard on being intimidating. But all is well. Josh is home. I'm not in trouble for being such a bad Mom and a short drive to the store produces doorknob covers to prevent him from going on any more solo adventures! Phew...and the covers still work!

Guess what happens the next week, exactly one week after my underwear-streaking runaway's adventure? My 2 oldest daughters go on a tubing trip with some of the older kids and leaders from church. They are gone and everything seems to be fine and then I get a phone call. Alicia my 16 yr old calls me and tells me that she got separated from the group and is now lost in Zion's national park! She can't tell me exactly where she is except for at some RV campground.

Remember, John is 1800 miles away back East and I have no clue yet where anything is around here AND I couldn't get a hold of anyone else from the group. I'm ready to panic. Especially since the number where Alicia was came up unknown and she didn't give me the number. So I couldn't even get a hold of her! Finally I did get to talk to her again and found out that a state trooper was going to help her find the group or bring her home. Well guess what? They couldn't find the group, so for the SECOND week in a row, a member of the law enforcement brought one of my kids home!

Seriously! I was like are you kidding me? I just moved in here and now I can only imagine what the neighbors had to be thinking! ;o) I sat all of my kids down and I looked at each one of them and said, "If another police officer comes here next week to bring one of you home...you will die." We all laughed so hard. I'm happy to report that I haven't lost any more of my kids! LOL And they are still alive. ;o) That was in August. Of course school started then that meant getting busy with all those new registrations and school supply shopping, etc.

In September, I drove my oldest daughter, Cassie to BYU-Idaho in Rexburg. My friends Alexis and Charles came with to help drive. It was a fun trip. I still can't believe Cassie's in college. She's doing great. But it was tough that first little while having her gone. She's so funny and adds life to any situation. We sure do miss her around here. Lucky for us, we'll see her for Thanksgiving. Yea!

Awesome news just 2 weeks ago! Cassie got engaged!! To a totally awesome guy named Joel! We're so excited for them. Now it's time to plan a wedding...a June wedding! =o) Gosh, they grow up so fast! As I left her in Idaho, I couldn't help thinking of every year of Cassie's life so far. All the memories made. Now she's starting a life of her own and walking on her own path. I'm going to be such a mess at the wedding! ;o)

Besides Cassie, all my girls are growing up. Alicia went on her first date to homecoming at her high school. She looked beautiful! I couldn't believe she was actually on a date! All my girls are looking older and caring more for how they look. I'm in so much trouble! All these girls!

Josh is awesome! He talks so much! The other day Kelly was helping him with a computer game and he got mad at her and told her, "Your on crack!" That would be courtesy of Cassie. Thank you Cassie for corrupting his little mind. ;o)

Today his cheeks were a little rosy, so I wanted to feel his head to make sure he wasn't getting a temperature. He saw me coming toward him with my hand out ready to feel his forehead, so he moved quickly out of the way and said, "No Mom, I'm not sick! Leave me alone!" Gotta love it!

I want to say I'm sorry I haven't written hardly at all lately. Just a lot going on and it was hard to concentrate. I've been dealing with health issues for quite a while. Out here, I've been to see some doctors and have different tests done. I spent time trying different meds that didn't help at all and ended up with adverse effects from it. Needless to say, I'm back to square one. Still causing the docs to scratch their heads in confusion. Now I'm taking a little break from doctors.

I'm ready to get my creative juices flowing! Watch out! I'm ready to roll! I'll be filling you in on my writings as time goes along.

I love you all!

Have a SPOOKTACULAR Halloween!

Love, Cheryl

Happy August!

2009-08-08T09:51:00.004-06:00

My, oh my what Summer can bring some times! There have been winds of change occurring at the Solis household!

Just over a week ago we moved our family from middle Tennessee to southern Utah! Can I just say, I LOVE IT!! It is so beautiful out here! It's nice and hot too! I do so much better in the warmer climate. Not that Tennessee isn't hot right now. But the humidity is awful. Here we get the dry heat. Yeah, 107 degrees is hot...that's for sure! But it doesn't even feel like it.

I apologize for not updating my blog for the month of July. I just had waaaayyyy too much going on. Slowly, but surely we are settling in! Unfortunately, John is still out in Tennessee a few more weeks, but he'll be with us again soon enough. Our whole family is looking forward to that day! =D

I have all my girls registered for school. That's always an adventure. ;-) They start next week. YEA! In a month, I get to take Cassie up to college. I'm sad and excited about that at the same time. Then it will just be my little guy and I at home while the girls are in school. Then I can shout, "Let the writing begin!"

I know I've behind on my writings. That makes me a little sad. But watch out! I'm just about ready to roll again! Just give me some time to settle in and then it's off to the races! =D

As I sit here in my new home, I can't help but feel the sweetness of the Spirit around me and feel such peace and joy for what my future holds.

I have often compared my life to a roller coaster ride. Forget the whole "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade!" ;-) I'm all about making sure that the seat belt is fastened up tight, the arm bar secure and your arms and legs are in the vehicle at all times. Then you just hold on tight! Some times there will be twists and turns, dark tunnels to travel through, or a tedious climb to the top and then great dips that make your stomach drop. Some times the ride we call life may make you queasy. Some times it's so exciting you can't wait to go on it again. Some times your legs turn to jello because you can't believe you survived. ;-)

Either way, I've had my share of various roller coaster rides in my life and right now, I'm truly in a wonderful and beautiful place. I can't express the excitement I feel at making new friends here, as well as seeing old ones and just enjoying the scenery of the mountains around me and making this little town in southern Utah home!

I hope everyone has had a fun summer! One filled with many adventures. Kinda like mine! =) Whether it's getting married or welcoming a new life into the world. Going on family vacations or having just plain fun in the sun! =) What ever it is, I hope this finds a smile on your face!

Love Always, Cheryl

Feels Like Summer!

2009-06-15T06:00:00.006-06:00

Here we are in the middle of June and boy has it been hot and sticky here in Middle Tennessee! Mind you, I am definitely a summer girl, but I can certainly do without the sticky! ;-)

Since I last wrote, what has been going on?

Well, my mother had her surgery for lung cancer. She had 1/2 her lung removed, as well as her lymph nodes (I can't remember how many) because they were inflamed. The doctors were concerned that they were cancerous as well.

My mother has been home resting for a couple of weeks or so. All things considered, she is doing remarkably well. She is slowly gaining her strength and the awesome news is that her lymph nodes came back clear. The doctors feel that they got all the cancer and she does not need to go through chemotherapy! Can you believe that? Truly miracles have occured! Prayers have been answered! I am so grateful!

My sister is staying with our mother right now. I am so grateful she is there. I only wish I could be there to help too. It's was hard there for a while. It was difficult to concentrate on much else. I know my sister and I were nervous wrecks the day of Mom's surgery. But at least I can rest easy now knowing Mom's going to be ok. Definitely a time to give thanks in prayer for the blessings the Lord has given my mother and our family.

Can I just say my family is totally caked out! LOL

First, in April we had John and Joshua's birthday. (cake)
Then we had Cassie's graduation less than a month later. (cake)
Ten days later was Makenna's birthday. (more cake)
Two weeks after that was Alicia's birthday. (this time it's cheesecake and brownie sundaes, but still more cake)
Then two days later it was my birthday! (which means even MORE cake! this time pineapple upside down cake)
Caked out? Just a little! ;-)

Now guess what? This Saturday is my wedding anniversary! 17 years! Time sure flies, doesn't it? What's really cool is that it will be EXACTLY 17 yrs to the day! We got married on a Saturday and the next day was Father's Day. We're even in the same time zone. LOL

Now for some Summer fun!

What are your plans?

Cassie's busy working and saving money for college. She's got the countdown going already! 83 days or something until semester starts. She isn't a little anxious now is she? Crazy kid! LOL Three of my girls will be going to Young Women's camp for church. During that week there will just be 4 of us at home! That is going to be so weird for me. LOL I'm not sure I can cook for just 4! LOL Really 3 because Josh doesn't eat that much. I'll definitely have to tell you all about it later. ;-)

For the most part I think we are just hanging out at home. Instead of "spring cleaning", I'll be having a "summer cleaning" instead. I really need to go through all my stuff and reorganize. I also need to get back on top of my writing projects. I have lots of things whirling around in my mind. Time to get them on paper! =)

I hope everyone has a wonderful summer!

Happy traveling! Happy swimming! Happy playing! Happy Summer!

Love Always, Cheryl

It's May? I didn't notice...

2009-05-19T14:12:00.004-06:00

I'd say Happy May, but good grief...it's almost gone!! ;-)

In all honesty, there has been a lot going on that has taken up my time, as well as my thoughts. Since this is called the "Ramblings of Cheryl's Mind," I figure I'll just start rambling. ;-) hehe

So, what's happened since my last post? Well, sadly on Good Friday I found out my mother may have lung cancer and unfortunately, a couple of weeks later it was confirmed. She seems to be doing well. We're all pretty optomistic, but there has also been some sadness and fear, especially for my parents (mom and step-dad). I should find out today when her surgery is. After she recovers from surgery, she'll start chemotherapy.

Needless to say, I've been doing a lot of self-reflecting. Did I say that right? I hope so. =) Plus, I'm trying to be a positive support system for my family. I guess it would be safe to say it's been a little stressful. ;-)

Aside from that, there has been other craziness going on in this house! lol My oldest daughter Cassie graduated from high school last week. I'm so proud of her. She's worked so hard to get to this point. Then last Sunday she graduated from Seminary. A scripture study class for high school students at our church. Which she also attended for 4 years. To help us celebrate her graduation, my mother and father-in-law drove in from Illinois and stayed with us for a few days. Definitely a fun and exciting time for our family.

Now, I get to celebrate my daughter Makenna's birthday on Sunday! She turns 12, which means she starts the Young Women's program at church! Another milestone for our family. Then 2 weeks from now, my daughter Alicia turns 16! That means dating and driving. Ahh! With all this celebrating, talk about cake and ice cream overload! lol

I know it's late but I'd like to with say Happy Mother's Day to all of our Mothers in the world! =D

Now what to look forward to? School is almost out. Summer is just about here. Any exciting vacations planned?

I need to do some deep cleaning in my house. Ooooh, fun! Yeah, right! ;-) I definitely need to get in some serious writing time. And every now and then I plan on sleeping in...just a little. =o) That doesn't happen too often for me. I do think I'm going to relish in the quiet time that I will get before the kids wake up.

Enough day dreaming of quiet mornings. Right now it's back to reality of totally awesome, yet totally loud 3 yr. old boys making your day no matter how cranky they are. I love my sweet boy's antics and expecially his hugs. And back to the drama of teenage and pre-teen girls. Life is good...even if I do need to escape for a little while. =)

Hope you enjoyed my ramblings. =) Have a wonderful day everyone! Have fun preparing for Summer!

Love Always, Cheryl

April Showers Bring May Flowers!

2009-04-03T09:48:00.003-06:00

Or so they say. =0)

Speaking of showers, here in Middle Tennessee, we have gotten PLENTY! My grass is growing nice and tall. The yard definitely needs a haircut! It would be nice to get some sun around here. It's been very wet for a very long time. The sun peeking in a little here, a little there, but not enough in my opinion.

Well, I totally missed April Fool's Day. Yep, went right by me without one practical joke given or taken. How boring is that? Good news is that I have a whole year to prepare for the next one. ;-)

Let's see what's new around here?

My daughter will officially be done with her high school career in 6 weeks!! I can't believe it!! Plus she's heading off to college in September! My firstborn is growing up! WAHHH!! I know...I'm such a big baby! I'll be like this for every single one of them. I just know it! lol

My husband and my son both have a birthday this month. Yay!! We love birthdays! =) That will be fun. Especially since they are both within 2 days of each other.

Want to hear about an adventure I had recently? ;-)

I did something really dumb in the early, early morning hours of last Sunday morning. I got up to use the bathroom. No big deal right? Everyone does it. Well, as I was walking to the bathroom, I notice the floor is very sticky. The mop was right there so I thought I would try to clean it up just a little bit.

Mind you, it's 3:30 in the morning! I'm not all together with it. Hence, the brilliant idea to try to mop part of the floor. Now really, who does that? I think it's safe to say not too many people will mop the floor in the middle of the night on their way to the bathroom.

So on the way back. My son was fussy. (He'll be 3 this month) He and his big sister fell asleep on the love seat. He was falling off. Well, I get him a drink and then proceed to pick him up and move him to the bigger couch.

On my way to the bigger couch, guess what happens? WHOOP! THUMP! Yep...I slipped on the floor in the area I just mopped only minutes before.

Thankfully, Josh was fine. A little startled but nothing more. Being the Supermom that I am, I held him tight within the iron strength of my arms.

Now picture this...you have a baby in your arms. A big baby that is. His head cradled in the crook of your right arm and your left arm wrapped around his legs. Your right knee is knelt down on the floor. Your right elbow also on the floor. Baby facing you on the floor with wide, confused eyes. Left leg doing the side splits, twisted forward.

Can you say OUCH!! My daughter woke up from the thump and helped get my son out from my clutches. Then helped me up. The pain was so bad I could hardly talk. I had to breathe through the pain and talk in quick, staccato, like breaths. "No-...I'm-...Fine-..." I'm sure you get the picture. I made it up and limped and yelped my way back to bed. Then I got the cold chills, but they subsided after about 10 minutes.

I'm happy to report that I'm fine. I didn't need to go to the doctor and the pain is much better than it was. The thing is that the mopping didn't help one bit! First, I hurt myself. Second, it just made the sticky mess worse!

Note to self and anyone else that goes to the bathroom in the middle of the night: NEVER, EVER mop the floor at 3:30 AM on your way to the bathroom! It's pointless. Just wait until it's daylight and you are coherent. It will save a lot of pain in the long run! I promise! =p

I know, I know...such a silly story. If I made you chuckle, even a little, then it was worth it.

Well, I hope everyone out there is enjoying this time of year. The weather slowly turning warmer. Easter coming up. Family vacations as kids are on spring break. I hope you enjoy it all!

I hope with "Spring in the air" it will bring a lightness to your step, a sparkle to your eyes and a smile that let's everyone know you are happy!

Happy April!

Love Always, Cheryl

Onto writing news!

Cheryl has a new poem she has written and added to her website. A Shell of a Man Be sure to visit Cheryl's Poetry Place to take a look! Here is a small preview...

A SHELL OF A MAN

SEE THE REFLECTION STARING BACK AT ME?

I HARDLY RECOGNIZE THE FACE

THE EYES

ONCE SHINY AND FULL OF LIFE

NOW DULL

STRUGGLE TO LOOK AWAY ...

Visit her website http://cheryldsolis.com/ to read the rest!

Here is what Cheryl has to say about A Shell of a Man: "This poem was written for someone I love very much. As I was writing this poem I remember feeling how this could relate to myself or others that I know and love. Then I thought this poem is for anyone who felt like they were "stuck" or "going through the motions". In reality, who out there has never looked in the mirror, stared at their reflection and didn't recognize the face staring back at them? Who out there never questioned what they were really capable of? What they were really meant to do or be? I think it's safe to say that we all have, like I said before, myself included. So, to anyone who's ever felt this way...this poem is for you." - Cheryl D. Solis

She'd love to hear from you. Let her know what you think! Write her at cheryl@cheryldsolis.com.

Top O' the Mornin' to Ya!

2009-03-13T06:36:00.003-06:00

Top O' the Mornin' to Ya!!

I can say that because it is only 7:30am right now and I've been up since before 5:00am!! I know...it's insanity!

Soooo, I was looking at my blog that I'm really bad at keeping up with and realized I hadn't posted since New Year's! I was going to post something for Valentine's Day. I even started it, but alas, it wasn't meant to be. Now here we are in March getting ready for St. Patrick's Day. Be sure to wear green! =)

What could be rambling (wink, wink) in Cheryl's mind?? Can I just say, waaaayyyy too much! lol

As I mentioned before my "brother" and his wife were staying with us from Vegas. They only stayed for about 10 weeks. They headed back out west to Southern California. There was a great job opportunity out there. We are really happy for them. Lucky ducks! Who wouldn't want to be in that nice weather for most of the year?? Ok, well, I'm sure there are a few of you. In fact I could name some, but I won't. This isn't about them, it's about me and my aversion (self-proclaimed allergy) to cold weather of any kind! lol Although, there is some truth to that. My body can't take the cold...at all. So, for now, I will dream of sunny days, warm tempuratures and lots of BBQ's! ;-)

Unfortunately, I had to put some of my writing work on hold. But I'm happy to say that I'm back in the saddle! Off and writing again! Yay!! With Mike and Sarah moving in, there was a lot of rearranging that needed done. Plus the holidays came and went and then there was the flu bug. As you know, I have 6 kids. My girls all decided to take turns having extremely high, not to mention, scare the bejeebies out of me, fevers that lasted for a week at a time. So, for the last month, I had my nurse's hat on and took care of them. Now I'm worn out! All that worry and lack of sleep sure takes it's toll on you! ;-)

Now here I am, refreshed and ready to work. Kids are off to school. I have my blinds closed so I don't have to see the dreary weather. ;-) lol Today is going to be a good day!

I've been doing some reflecting and realized, Dang! I'm getting old!! My oldest daughter is 18. She graduates from high school in 2 months! TWO! That's it! TWO! (sniffle, sniffle, tear) She's already been accepted to one university. She's waiting to hear from another. Then she'll decide what she wants to do. Next step...real life! I know, I know, I just have to be strong! (deep breath) I know I can do it. ;-) Besides that, I have a daughter who is now learning to drive! Oh, heaven help us all! lol

I'm learning that 3yr old boys (well, almost 3 yr old) areVERY smart! lol My son can climb onto the top bunk without a ladder! Not to mention change things on the computer whenyou aren't looking, among a great many other "get into trouble" kind of things. His vocabulary has expanded quite a bit. He uses all the words in the right context too. Which makes him very cute, but very dangerous. ;-)

For the most part, my family is all doing well. We are looking forward to spring getting here and enjoying what the rest of the year may bring.

I hope you are all doing well. I would love to hear from you. Email me at cheryl@cheryldsolis.com

Have a Happy St. Patrick's Day! Try not to get pinched!

Love, Cheryl

Happy New Year!

2009-01-02T06:29:00.004-07:00

I know, I know, I'm a day late and a dollar short! What can I say? I had a little too much of the bubbly! AKA Sparkling Apple Cider! That's good stuff, let me tell ya! ;-)

Happy New Year to you all! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas.

I wasn't the best at keeping up with blogging. I'm sorry about that. The month of December was a pretty crazy month for me. My brother Mike and his wife Sarah moved in with us on December 19th. They've been here for 2 weeks now. It's been fun! We love them to pieces!

Then the crazy fools that we are, we added 2 new puppies to our family. We already have one dog named Lucy. She's 10 months old now. She's 1/2 Chihuahua and 1/2 Shih Tsu (I hope I spelled those right). Now we have two 2 month old 1/2 mini Dachshund and 1/2 mini Beagle puppies. Ginger is the girl and Buster is the boy. I was hoping to name then Ricky and Ethel. Since we already have a Lucy. I was thinking themes. "I love Lucy". Why not? But you know, once we got them home and everything, it just didn't seem to fit. Oh well. They were a last minute surprise for our kids. They were all very excited about them.

Our Christmas was nice. All of our stockings were filled and there were presents under the tree. Everyone was happy with what they gave and received. We just enjoyed the day at home. It was pretty quiet. Except for the little toy drum set we got our son. Uncle Mike plays the drums (yep, he has them set up in their room) and Josh loved them. He's only 2 so, these are just a toy set. However, my girls loved it too and have played with them more than he has! Go figure!

We had a nice dinner. A turkey and ham with all the trimmings. Of course, I made my Grandma's rice pudding. Her parents came to the U.S. from Denmark and this was their recipe. It's a recipe that will get handed down for generations to come! My Grandma grew up with it, my Dad and myself too and now my kids. Yum! I love it!

A couple of days before Christmas we watched the movie "A Nativity Story". I loved it! If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it! It's a very thought provoking movie...at least for me.

Well, with the start of 2009, I hope for all you that it is a year of hopes and dreams fulfilled! May it be your best year ever! Of course, with the new year, comes new year's resolutions. We got a Wii Fit for Christmas. (Thanks Mom and Bob!!) I know that's a part of our whole family's resolution to get in better shape. The Super Hula-hoop is the best! ;-)

On a personal level, I have to admit, I'm still working on those. I'm still trying to figure out what I hope to do/see/achieve/become in 2009. I'd love to hear some your resolutions! Please comment or write me at cheryl@cheryldsolis.com.

Once again, Happy New Year!

Love you all,
Cheryl

Is it that time of year already?

2008-12-06T11:09:00.009-07:00

I suppose I should really be saying is
Happy December!!!

If you are like me, you'd really be saying, "I hope not!" ;-p~~

This happens to me every year. The holidays rush in when I least expect them! What can I say? Life is crazy in our home...and no, I am NOT exaggerating! LOL

There are just so many things going on. My daughter Kelly just turned 13 on the 4th. That makes 3, yes THREE teenagers under one roof! Of course they are all girls. John and I were talking and in 2 years and 9 months, we'll add 2 more teenage girls to the group! Unbelievable! What was I thinking having them so close?? I'll never know! LOL Thank heavens for John, Joshua will be around the house for quite a while and he can recover from all these girls with some much needed male bonding time!

So, back to my crazy month of December. We got through Thanksgiving. We had a great time and most importantly, had yummy food! Then...THEN I dared to go out on BLACK FRIDAY! (I shudder at the memories) Now that's really when I need to ask myself, WHAT WAS I THINKING??? I had taken 3 of my girls with me and I can guarantee you that they won't do that again. LOL I know that I won't go again unless John is with. It was INSANE!!!

I had to drop John off at work at 4:30am. Since I was up, I figured, what the heck! Just go straight to the stores. Yeah, right! So, the parking lots were packed! The check-out lines were miles long...at least that's how I saw it! ;-) At Wal-mart, O-M-G (osh...that is)...I had to park at Bar-B-Cutie's at the far, far end of the parking lot! Then when I walked in, I was lucky to have gotten a cart even, but heck, can I just say shopping cart grid-lock!! And to try to even grab an item to look at, you had to barge your way through! Ahh, the memories! LOL After all that we ened up at the mall. Why? I have no idea...I really wanted to torture myself that day. We went to Steve and Barry's and I'm sad to say they are going completely out of business but they had some great sales! So, at least it was worth it! At least I can now say I've personally experienced Black Friday and survived! Yay for me!! LOL

Besides those adventures, my brother and his wife are coming over to Tennessee from Las Vegas to live with us for a while. So, we've been busy getting things rearranged and prepared. They will be here the week before Christmas. So, I guess in about 11 days! We are pretty excited. It will be a party here every night with Mike here! LOL

Don't forget the Christmas cards that need to go out. More shopping to do. A Holiday dinner to plan. Not to mention just everyday stuff like work, raising a family, etc. etc. So much time, so little to do! Uh - Strike that...reverse it!! (Don't ask, Willy Wonka from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory just came to mind) So much to DO, so little TIME! Hey, it will all be worth it in the end...right? Yeah...I think so too! ;-D

Time to go for now. I really do hope you do have a Happy December! Enjoy all that hot cocoa! I know I sure will! Brrr! It's cold outside! ;-)

Hey There Sunshine!

2008-10-31T08:06:00.009-06:00

So, yesterday was a pretty busy day for me. I was up before 5 am. I made my husband's breakfast and lunch and then we left to take him to work. One of our vehicles is not in service at this time (time to replace the water pump) and it figures that it has to be the VAN...the one that can FIT the whole family! (sigh)

Anyway, I take hubby to work and make it back in plenty of time for my older girls to drive to Seminary. Unfortunately for them, they have to come back home in order for me to take them to school so I can have the car. (Ooooh, they have to take the dreaded school bus home!)

I have all these errands to run. I'm out and about and I get a call from my friend. I'll call her "Mela". She just so happens to be down the road at the KIA dealership getting an oil change done on her car. I agree to meet her there and keep her company, even for just a few minutes.

So, I pull into the dealership in my totally-fabulous-shiny-you-wish-it-was-your-car of a Saturn. Yes...I was sooo exaggerating. This poor thing really isn't bad. It runs (very important) and get's us from point A to point B. What else can I say? ;-p

Then I hop out of the car and walk toward the service area. Well, wouldn't you know it, some hot-shot car salesman came out of the showroom area (surprise, surprise) and says to me, "Hey there Sunshine!" (imagine this with a thick Southern drawl...I am in Tennesse, after all.) "Are you looking for some Customer Service?" (Eww...no way! At least that's what I was thinking.)

I smile that I'm just-trying-to-be-nice-smile, say "No thanks, I'm just meeting a friend." and proceed to walk to the service center.

"Are you sure?" says Mr. Hot-shot.

"No, really, I'm just here to meet a friend. But thanks anyway." I smile at the guy thinking, the door is right there now...only a few more feet.

"You might want to buy a car while you're at it." Mr. Hot-shot says.

Oh the nerve!! Can you believe it? I'm quite certain my poor Saturn was very hurt by his underlying insult! I may have to fill up with Premium instead of Regular gas just to make up for it!

Thankfully my friend was walking out the door. I proceeded to tell her about Mr. Sunshine over there as I discreetly pointed over my shoulder.

See? I really was telling the truth about my friend! I think as I walk back to my car, trying not to make eye contact with Mr. Hot-shot Sunshine car dealer man.

That was a lovely experience and I just had to share. Anyone have any fun stories like this one to share? I'd love to hear them.

Happy Friday...Happy Fall!

2008-10-03T09:16:00.004-06:00

Today is Friday...YES!!! I LOVE Fridays because then it means I don't have to wake my up kids for school the next day. I still get up to make John's breakfast & lunch for work. Usually between 4am-4:30am. I know, I know! What am I thinking?!?! Sometimes I wonder that myself. But what can I say? I've been getting up and making his lunch for years. It's a habit that's hard to break. Besides...I love him. Lucky guy! He better not forget that either! ;-) But at least after he's off to work, I can fall back to sleep. Or at the very least, have some peace and quiet for a little longer than normal.

Sooo, next week is Fall Break for my kids. I never heard of such a thing until I moved here. But hey, I'll TAKE it! I know darn well, my kids will too. Although, 2 of my girls are homeschooled. So, they'll still have some work to do but I'll still give them a little break. John gets Monday off. Finally! He's been working 6 days a week for a good month straight. He'll get Sunday and Monday off...together! YEA! We're just going to enjoy the day together as a family. We may have a little bonfire. I'll have to check to make sure there isn't a fire ban first. I hope not! I bought stuff for S'mores! Can't let that go to waste, now can we? ;-)

With it declared officially that Fall/Autumn is here, I can tell it's getting cooler out. The leaves are starting to change color. That's always a pretty sight. But I have to say, I'm cold!! I know I can't really complain. You see, I grew up in the suburbs of Chicago and it definitely gets cold up there! But I'm a Summer girl...I love the warmth of the sun and I love knowing I can wear a t-shirt and capris, walk around barefoot or slip on some sandals and go. Now, I have to bring out my long pants, my sweats, etc. Brrr! I know my friend Pam thinks I'm insane (she loves the cold)...she may be right...I probably am insane ;-) ...but that doesn't change the fact that I'm cold. LOL So, enough about being cold. I really am glad it's Fall. Now I can think of warm apple pies, yummy chocolate chip pumpkin bread, hearty soups and stews and bonfires.

Speaking of apple pie, I bought a bushel of apples and I'm going to try my hand at canning them. I'm pretty excited about it. Anyone have any pointers for a rookie? ;-) Better watch out, I may become addicted to canning! I'll let you know how it goes.

I wish everyone a Happy Friday and a Happy Fall!! Enjoy your weekend and most of all, enjoy celebrating Fall/Autumn!

Love, Cheryl

Cheryl's Corner

2008-09-22T20:05:00.009-06:00

Welcome to Cheryl's Corner!

Happy Monday! I'm sure we are all just bright eyed and bushy tailed to start a new a week, right? ;-)

Well, after about a month of being sick I'm finally back in the swing of things. Yea!! I can't tell you what a relief that is! The first two weeks I was just overcome with exhaustion and couldn't do much. The second two weeks I, thanks to my lovely children, was sick with a terrible cold/flu bug. Hooray! Everyone is healthy once again!

What is going on in my corner (wink, wink) of the world?

(deep sigh) Well, here in Tennessee and parts of the South, there seems to be a gas shortage. Many of the stations have gone without gas for days, if not a couple of weeks. Is there an end in sight? Yes, but when? We are not sure. Poor John, my dear husband, delivers fuel to all the gas stations and gets bombarded with questions wherever he goes. That includes church. LOL

As most of you know, I have 6 kids. My 11 yr. old joined her school band. She now plays the trombone and loves it. I must say, that instrument is about as tall as she is!! I'll have to post some pictures on the site. But more than that, I've realized, I'm just plain getting old! My oldest, turns 18 in 25 days!! (I'm going to tear up now) She's a senior in high school and she's just dying to gain her independence. She so cannot wait to go to college. Then my middle daughter, will be 13 in just a couple of months. Do you know what that means? THREE teenagers in the house at once!! (deep sigh) My other daughters are great but here is a funny about my 2 1/2 yr. old son.

A couple of weeks ago I was still sick and Josh took advantage of that. In the morning he dumped almost a whole bag of chips on and around my bed. Later he wrote with permanent marker on one of my steps in my room. As I went to try and clean it, I noticed that he wrote on the dog too! Then later in the day, he was quiet and I noticed he was happy and I went to investigate and he had cracked about a dozen eggs on the floor in front of the black fridge and in the living room. I looked at him as he was standing in the middle of the eggs, (proud of what he had done, of course) and with his arms out in front of him, shaking them, he asks me, "Why? Why, Mommy?, Why?" I said, "Yes, Josh, why? Tell me, why did you do this?" I don't think he ever answered. Gotta love it!

Hope you all have many fun-filled adventures like I do!

Love, Cheryl

News from www.cheryldsolis.com :

Cheryl recently added two new poems to Cheryl's Poetry Place! "I Have Need of Thee," a poem written for and dedicated to her Heavenly Father, and "I See...Eternity," a poem written for a beautiful couple about to be married. click here to read more

Be sure to check out the Ramblings of Cheryl's Mind at http://cheryldsolis.blogspot.com/ Cheryl recently entered the world of BLOGGING! (That may be a scary thought to some!) She has two postings so far, Did You Miss the Line? and Not My Will, But Thine, Be Done. Take a look and let her know what you think! Be on the lookout for more "Ramblings" from Cheryl's mind! You just never know what you might find in there! ;-)

Works in Progress: Cheryl currently has 2 projects in the works. Did You Miss the Line? A book that discusses these questions: What line did you get in? Did you miss the line...the one in Heaven? You know, the one with all the blessings?

Also, yet to be titled, sequel to Blessings in Disguise. What are Jessica and Bryan up to now? How has their love for each other, as well as the gospel, changed their relationship with their families? They also have their eye on eternity. Will they make it? Is the path really as easy as it looks?

Keep your eyes open for updates on future release dates for Did You Miss the Line? and the still untitled sequel to Blessings in Disguise!

Thank You Notes:
From Cheryl:
"I would just like to thank all my family and friends who have been such a great support to me.

"My husband and children especially. They have endured me sitting at the computer for countless hours. Watched my emotions go from high to low as the excitement and stresses of this new adventure would take hold. Cheered me on with encouragement and most of all, loved me through it all!

"Also to my friends, some in particular...you know who you are (who practically have Blessings in Disguise memorized), thanks for your vote of confidence in me!

"I love you all!"

Not My Will, But Thine, Be Done

2008-09-18T07:03:00.009-06:00

When you hear the words, "not my will, but thine, be done" (Luke 22:42), what comes to your mind?

I think of the Savior and the scriptures. That should be obvious, huh? ;-) I think of all the prophets of old and their faith and service in the Lord. Truly putting His will before their own. But what about today? Does that still apply? Even though we aren't prophets or any great spiritual leader in the world's eyes...just human beings, sons and daughters of God living on the earth?

Here's another question for you. Have you ever had your sights set on something, not like an inatimate object, I mean a goal, desire, dream, something you've been longing for and could feel it within reach? It was right there. You're reaching for it you can barely touch it with your fingertips, yet, you can't stretch any farther to really grasp it. Has that ever happened to you?

Let me give you a personal example, I'll at least try, without going into too much detail.

I have these goals/dreams I'm working on, right? One of them is being fulfilled now, at least to a certain degree. Then there is this other dream. I've had it for years, just like my first dream. I've been so close I could touch it, again, like my first dream in the past. Yet, it slips through my fingers, yes, just like in the past with my first dream. It's so hard because it was something I just knew was meant to be. With all my heart and soul, I felt it was right.

Well, for the last little while it's been a great desire of mine to fulfill this dream...this goal. So much so, I let it consume my thoughts. I was going through a hard time and just struggling on more of a personal level than anything else, and I used that dream to escape from my negative feelings. It gave me something to look forward to. I hope I'm making sense.

Anyway, yesterday morning I had read a few chapters in my scriptures and wrote in my journal. Then I decided to get ready for the day. Instead of a shower, I took a bath. I took that opportunity to ponder and pray about various things. One of them was my goal/dream. I realized then, that my dream may have to just be that...a dream. Of course I was crying because I understood what the spirit was telling me. I knew what that meant. I realized I had a choice to make.

More than anything, I desire to please the Lord. To follow the path that His spirit leads me on. With that desire in my heart and the choice placed before me, my heart began to hurt. Because it meant letting one dream go. One that I just knew was right before. It meant walking on a path I hadn't really wanted to walk on before.

I had all day to think about what I learned that morning. I waited all day for my husband to get home. He's training a guy right now, which means I can't talk to him during the day like I would normally. Finally, after he got home and things settled down, I was able to share with him my feelings. It was hard. I did cry. More because I could once again feel the spirit and knew I was making the right choice even though it hurt greatly.

I told him how I felt like I had to choose between my goals/dreams. At this point in time, I could not have both at the same time. I shared with him what I told the Lord in my prayer (this may not be verbatim but it will be pretty close).

This is what I said, "Heavenly Father, not my will, but thine, be done. That's how I need to be. That's how I want to be. If this [other dream] is not meant to be, then let me know now and I will learn to accept it.

...if I had to choose between one dream or another, then I will give up [this one dream-the one that was no longer meant to be] and [take the other-that is being fulfilled] because I know I can do more good [with this one dream] than I can [with the other]."

I shared that with my husband and then I said this, "I think that sometimes, even though we are living the best we can, striving to earn the blessings that we desire, they don't come because we are aiming for the wrong thing. Even though neither are bad, it just doesn't work out because our goal was not right for this time. All blessings are predicated on obedience, I need to be obedient to the Lord's will, no matter how much it hurts." Then I said, "It will be interesting to see what happens now that I'm letting go [of the one dream]."

To anyone who reads this, please know that I know that there is great joy and blessings to be had when following the Lord, but this is life, and life is not perfect. Life is filled with sorrow and disappointment as well. I have many experiences where I've felt excited and blissful over doing the Lord's will. On the other hand, I've also felt frustration and sadness.

This was just one example. It was on my mind, so I had to share. I'm just wondering what that scripture means to you.

Did You Miss the Line?

2008-09-13T09:17:00.015-06:00

What line did you get in? Did you miss the line...the one in Heaven? You know, the one with all the blessings?

I'm writing a book called "Did You Miss the Line?" I just wanted to share how it came about and get your thoughts.
**Please note that with permission some comments/posts may be used in the book.**

...around two or three years ago when I lived in Utah...one night I was talking to a friend from church. Somehow we just got to talking about life and I shared with her some of the things that were going on in my life at the time.

Out of the blue she asks me, “Cheryl, what line did you get in?” I of course had no clue what the heck she was talking about. She asks again, “Cheryl, did you miss the line [in heaven]? You know…the one with all the blessings?” Of course I laughed with her and eventually our conversation ended.

Here is what happened, I laughed with her. Yes, she could hear the laughter in my voice, but internally, I became very sad. I remember thinking, “What kind of question is that?” I even remember getting mad at one point because I was thinking “Of course I didn’t miss the line! I’m a good person! Why wouldn’t I be in the line with all the blessings?”

Yet, she had a good point. It was a very thought provoking question and soon I began to wonder as I pondered my whole existence, 'Did I miss the line?'

So, I was wondering, have you ever felt like you missed the line? Am I the only one? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

*** Feel free to add a comment below or if you have any questions or personal comments you'd like to share privately, please email me. cheryl@cheryldsolis.com or cheryldsolis@gmail.com ***